I’ve wanted to die since I was 7 years old when I realized I wanted to be a girl (I’m trans) I grew up in an independent fundamental Baptist house and was raised very strictly. As soon as I moved away at 21 I came out and transitioned. I’m personally happy with the way I look but I realize now no matter what I look like, nobody will accept me as a normal woman. At 27 I’m divorced, disowned, I have no friends, and I have never had a boyfriend. I feel no validation as a woman from my peers or society and I don’t think I ever will. I sacrificed everything in my life for this and I’m still treated like a man even tho I’ve changed my name and gender markers on all legal documents. All my work is for nothing and I can’t live with it anymore.
I understand what youre going through 100%, I’m gay in a really Christian household. I had to isolate myself from my dad who really did care for me. So even if you don’t think so, we on HeartSupport care so much about you. I hope you can find a group of people that accept you as you, the beautiful woman you are.
If you can, try to go to LGBT meets with other trans people.You aren’t alone. You are the best you, even if you don’t feel accepted. People that matter will care about you and accept you for you.
Hold onto your life, the bad will pass and you can smile because of the great future you’re going to have!
So first off i want to say that i have never been in those shoes before so i wont pretend to have all the answers, but one answer i do have is that your value as a person is not hinged on your name or you gender but even a more simple and miraculous thing…You are a living breathing human being. That right there makes you worth people’s time and love. A lot of people say that they want to “FIND” themselves, but i would offer some wisdom from my life experience. We DEFINE ourselves by our actions. if a picture is worth a thousands words then a fluid painting of a persons life speaks even louder. but this doesn’t mean the job you pick or the clothes you wear ect ect, no i believe the definition of our character is in how we treat others. I want you to know that right now i want to become your friend. I dont understand a lot about where you come from in life, but i understand the value of life. I want you to know that i will accept you right where you are at as a person and want to get to know you and form a friendship. Lastly i want to let you know that just because i have never been through your particular situation doesn’t mean that i havent hurt either and i would not want you to go through that alone. I love and care about and your life plz message me back let me know you are ok and lets get to know each other so that i can encourage you in your life.
I’m personally not trans, but, I can kind of relate to not being accepted around my sexuality. I identify as pansexual, and most people will say anyone who identifies as anything other than gay, lesbian, straight or bisexual is just trying to be different and get attention… So, I’ve just accepted that I have to tell people I’m bisexual to prevent that drama/having to explain a million things. I did have a very good friend who was trans (F-M) and I remember one day he told me that his sister had been attacked because of the fact he was trans. They were saying horrible things and beating her up because of HIS CHOICE. His dad tried to commit suicide because of the way the family were treated because HIS CHOICE. Even at work, where there’s supposed to be 0 tolerance on bullying, my friend would get death threats and torment… His family was so accepting of him, however, no one else seemed to be and it caused so much trouble for him and them, he actually started up some groups for people who were having trouble due to being transgender and used his music to raise money for meet ups etc.
I may not be able to relate to the exact situation, but I do understand what it feels like to want to die, to not want to be around anymore. I feel so unimportant to everyone who says they care about me - even guys here, and it hurts so much. It makes me feel like I’m just in such a pointless place. You’re not alone friend. I’m right in this with you even if it’s not for the same reason. I wish I was what anything I’m not right now and could believe that I am important and that i am cared for by those i love.
I’m so sorry this is happening to you friend. You don’t need to fight this alone anymore.
Okay so let me just say you are none the less who you are because others MAY NOT SEE YOU. I am going to say this I also have had this issue. It is a battle. I dont know if you have tried to find an LGBTQ or Trans community. I know where i live they legit have a trans group for anyone and everyone perhaps surround yourself with people who do get you for who you are. Truly sadly for me it sucks that so many around us do not accept us. I also lived in a family who has not accepted me as trans. I legit had to hide for years and than finally I am in a place now that I can be me. I cant say that life will get easier and I cant say that people will ever stop but I can say this that if people you find that you support you as you are that gives you the chance try and be you. It sounds like you have gotten the name changed and the gender. I do not know if you have done more but here is what I know only you have the power to say hey this is WHO I am.
I identify as tans as well but ftm.
I lived in that kind of community for almost all of my college years. It’s really hard to live in that environment because people can cloud your judgment of what love is. You are loved. Don’t think that God doesn’t love you either. He loves you so much. He loves you exactly how you are, and He loves you enough that He doesn’t want you to stay that way. His love for you wants to see you grow. We’re here for you. You’re not alone.
I’m so sorry you are going through so much hurt. I have a few transgender friends who I’ve watched live similar stories.
My heart goes out to you friend. Because I want to see you feeling confidently you. Comfortably. Please know that you are not alone here and we love and accept you as you are and who you are. Who you want to be. Here we are all friends, here to lift each other up and walk alongside each other as we all fight our own different battles.
Friend, I can’t solve the things you are going through but I certainly can extend to you a hand if friendship. You never have to go at this alone. You are so important and so valued.
Do you have a therapist that you can share with all of these things you are going through? I know therapy can be difficult sometimes but can also be so healing.
Anyway, I hope that you are able to find a sense of peace and comfort and if you ever need a friend, I’m only an inbox away.
@wrbjenson Hold Fast.