The past few months have been difficult and things are changing. After finishing my studies I need to take three certification exams. And I’m afraid of failure. I always have been. To this day I don’t know how I’ve managed to scrape by in life. And if I do pass exams, what then? I don’t know where I’m going in life and it scares me. I constantly doubt myself.
I’m afraid of being alone.
I don’t know if I’ll actually make it in life. I don’t know if I’m enough. I don’t know if I’m worthy. Constantly doubting myself has eaten away at me and I’ve been ignoring it. I’ve hardly done anything to fix it. I’m in a constant loop self hatred and questioning myself.
I know this feeling doesn’t last forever but it sure feels like it. I just don’t want to feel like what I’m doing isn’t a waste of time.