Debating if I wanted to reach out or not , my ex just got into a new relationship. I’m happy for him . Even tho me and him broke up in April , it’s now July , I still have feelings for him . Yet I haven’t told him that because I just some days I haven’t been in the right headspace to do so + with all this irl bull I’ve been dealing with , I don’t think I’m ready for another relationship. But I deserve to be happy . Back in June and or July , I was told by a friend that a friend let’s call him C , is pawning this girl who had feelings for C onto my ex . My friend that told me this in June or July said she has no interest in him , turns out she was wrong and they just got into a relationship. My heart is hurting but I guess happy for him ??? But at the same time why does this have to happen within OUR friend group i just . i dont know how to feel anymore …
What do i do ? or How do i cope better with this sudden change . Im really feeling shattered.
It does hurt doesn’t it? As much as we feel like we are okay, it can still be a sting.
Take some time to self care, find some other friends to keep you company and do some enjoyable things with. You deserve that. I hate that it takes time to heal from heart ache and sometimes these events can reopen wounds. I think it’s always so important to be kind to yourself during these times.
Personally I love watching funny movies and going for walks, treating myself to breakfast or even soaking in a bath full of nice smelly stuff!
So, how does one cope in something like this? Well, for me, I first realize it is going to just be kind of not great feeling. And that is ok. Then, how can I help myself to feel better. So doing things for you. Treat yourself. Be kind to you. Do things you can enjoy…and maybe gets mind off of it. Ways to cope are so individual. Wishing you strength as you move forward. You deserve good. Be kind and patient with yourself.
i’m so thankful you did decide to reach out. change is one of the most difficult parts about life because of its constant nature… and you’re experiencing it from various aspects of your life (with your ex and within your friend group). your happiness for those around you is an amazing testament to your heart even when i know it shatters you deeply. when facing change, the main thing we have control in is how we react and care for ourselves. what are some ways you can practice self-care and provide a sense of stability for yourself? and are there ways you can find closure in your previous relationship to help your mind and heart? all in all, i believe in you to overcome this painful time. we’re all here to listen to, love, and encourage you. you got this, my friend.
Hey All Around Ashley,
I am sorry that your heart is hurting right now. The heart can be so fickle on when and how it wants to feel better. What helps ease the sting of loss, and when it starts to help. What brings us comfort when it hurts the most, and what doesn’t.
I am very, very glad that you wrote “I deserve to be happy”. I am so, so glad you know this, and I hope you never forget it. You may find friends, family, activities, self care… a myriad of things that can help comfort you in this, but it seems that time is what will ease the pain and allow your heart to move forward again. Take the time to care about you, and find those things that comfort you and let your heart rest. Take friends, interactions, and commitments as you have the energy for them.
Focus on you, friend.
I am so sorry to read all of this, so many of us have been in this situation, that doesnt make it any easier for you I know and I can tell you even though I too have been here more than once it doesnt help to tell you what I think you should do because when your heart hurts it hurts for a reason and it just needs time to stop hurting.
Its hard enough when you break with a person you still care for but to then see them with another person it can make you feel 100 times worse as all the good times you had you image them having. I think one of the things that helped me was really thinking about the crappy times I had with my ex, the times when he made me feel awful and then I would think to myself, good luck to the new woman, she is gonna need all the help she can get, I was free of it.
A new change doesnt have to mean its a bad thing, this could truly be the start of something new and exciting for you. New is always a worry but not always a negative. look after you, look after your heart. You deserve happiness. xxx