I’m writing this because i don’t know who i am or who i will be in the next few years. When i was growing up i always was different but still sensitive. My mental health didn’t start till the summer of going into the 8th grade and i’m about to graduate. I’m 19 years old and a senior in high school. Last night i was thinking who am i?.
I currently feel like i don’t feel okay in my skin there was so much in the past/now that i don’t like about myself and i don’t know where that’s gonna put me in the next how many so years. Anyways , this is really hard to post because i don’t know what to say or how i am feeling at the moment. lets start here i guess, i used to hate my baby pictures because i hated my “chubby cheeks”. Now i guess, i deal with self love issues . I had an issue how i looked like i haven’t been comfortable in California when i wanted to leave my hair down because all it would do were to stick up or stick to my neck and made me feel uncomfortable . I really don’t like showing my legs cause it makes me feel uncomfortable. All I would wear to school is jeans (even though I will sweat) with a t-shirt and a jacket to cover my arms . . Now with me i just don’t know who the heck i am or who i will be. I kinda do know what i want to my life but i don’t know how my life will take . I don’t feel comfortable in a dress but i feel comfortable wearing suspenders and a bow tie or if I were to wear jeans like I said will be fine .last time i wore them they told me i was a little to extra cause i was going out to dinner for my boyfriends birthday . I just do not know how to feel or who to be or how to be for those around me . I guess i just don’t feel secure or comfortable around myself. But also the other day i felt really alone when my boyfriend wasn’t around even though i had people who care about me where surrounding me it just hurt me mentally because it felt like he didn’t care when he did or he abandoned me but the thing is he told me why he didn’t come or show up to school that day and i was kind of mad at him . Just without him why would i feel alone? Anyways this probably wont get any responses its just whatever. This post is probably pointless but I don’t know what else to do
I just needed to get my confusion/ don’t know who i am out.
This post is not pointless. You are writing out your feelings and emotions. What you are saying makes sense. It’s okay to question. It shows that you care. Life is tricky. We don’t know what it is going to happen. What we can do is keep moving forward. You will figure out of who you want to be. Now, take this moment to be grateful you are alive. If you want to vent more, this forum is open. I hope you will feel better. Thank you for sharing. God bless. Stay strong.
Nothing you say is pointless. In fact it all makes sense. This is such a natural thing to feel especially at your age. Something I battled with at that age and honestly I still struggle with it and I’m much older now.
Life can be confusing sometimes. It can be hard knowing who we are or who we want to be. Especially when there is so much pressure and lack of acceptance and things that can make us feel insecure all around us.
There’s not just one answer to fix it all, but there are a lot of little things that you can do.
One.) Sometimes having a therapist that you can turn to and feel safe with to share these feelings with can be such a huge help. A place where you can be raw and honest without judgement and have someone give you gentle guidance to help you make and achieve small goals to reach bigger goals so that you can feel better about yourself, your life, who you’re becoming and your future.
Two.) Having a good solid set of moral support from friends and surround yourself with people who encourage you, lift you up and support you.
Three.) Find things that you love and have passion for! Do you enjoy art? Do you enjoy writing? Taking pictures! Do you enjoy working around children? What are some things that you just love doing? Try to find these things and channel your energy into them. Let them be a safe escape, outlet and a way to express yourself. Volunteer at local places around you that need help that feels good! A children’s museum is so fun to volunteer at! A library. A pet shelter. These things not only feel good but they allow you to help others. For me that is something really important and something I really want to do. Help others.
Life will find its way and you will over time transition, evolve and grow into who you want to be. Hang around people that share similar goals and are like the person you want to be. Involve in the things that you love. Share and be open to a trusted source, like a therapist. And if you are of the faith, go to church, ask to be prayed with. Ask for spiritual guidance and attend bible studies and groups for your age. Any of these things can help you along the way.
I’m sorry you’re struggling my friend. I hope you are able to find some peace within yourself. Love yourself. You are important. You are valid. You matter.
Hold fasts
It’s totally normal to be feeling this way coming out of high school, I’ve felt it before as well. Just know that you don’t have anything to prove to anyone in terms of how you look. As long as you’re comfortable with how you look that’s all that matters; wear all the bow ties and suspenders you feel are necessary. Rather than worrying about how ‘extra’ you look, what’s important is that you were there to spend his birthday with him, which is a pretty awesome thing. And just know that no matter how alone you may feel, you aren’t; we’re here for you, we love you and you deserve to feel a sense of belonging in your own skin. I hope that you find that soon.
Hang in there friend,
Jaden
Update: yall probably wont see this but , i feel/ felt like relapsing . im uncomfortable in my own skin. I dont know whats gonna make me feel better i had anxiety issues also for like 5 minutes. whats wrong with me . why am i feeling like this . why am i like this . why am i hear at all.
i am not okay and i wont be okay. i just dont want to be here at all. why am i here? i wish i can just disapear
Don’t beat yourself down. You will get better. This community believes in you. We love you. Keep fighting!
Please don’t disappear. You’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough. You will be okay.