I don't know

I’ve been thinking a lot and maybe its not that a lot of people hate, maybe its just that they don’t know how tell me things or interact with me? Im not sure. Im always emotionally up and down and impulsive. Usually when im upset about something, its hard to be logical or to calm down. Not a lot of people have directly told me that they didn’t like me, but i always think that everyone secretly hates me.


Hey, @Amaris - I hope this finds you well. I recognize myself in what you’ve just said. If you don’t mind my advice (and I’m giving advice for the both of us,) I know that the emotional falls can hit like a wave, with your back turned to the sea. When you recognize yourself falling quick just remember to recognize the feelings. “Okay… I’m feeling like crap right now, what next” breathe that out. Not everyone’s going to like you… It doesn’t matter how amazing, smart, funny, cute, strong you are - haters gonna hate. Find time to forgive them. If people don’t tell you that they dislike you… Odds are they either like you or haven’t gotten to know you enough to form an opinion on you. Even if they secretly dislike you, smile. You’ve “won” if that’s what they’re after is a social competition… You stood firm in being a good person and they’ve impatiently passed judgment before seeing that about you.

That aside, have you heard of “pronoia?” it’s that opposite of paranoia. It’s the belief that everyone’s out to see you win. Just as a secret mind experiment, give that a shot sometime. I hope this helps. It takes some time to figure it all out, I know that I’m still trying to figure it out but in hindsight I have learned that it gets easier. Chin up, Amaris! :slight_smile:


Amaris, I had this same thought for years. It’s hard to feel and think that way and wonder if it’s true that everyone secretly hates you, but please know that it’s not true. People who are in your life are not there because they hate you, they’re there because they like you. My hope for you is that this week you can see all the ways that people are expressing that they do care about you, as well as the great parts of you. Everyone sees the negative in themselves so easily but don’t forget that you’re full of so many positives and that there are countless reasons that people will like you. You’re unique and awesome just as you are!

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Hey friend,

I can relate to that. I struggle a lot with these feelings too. I pick up on other’s body language and tone and sometimes feel like I’m hated even if I don’t know if it’s true. I’m a very emotional person, I talk a lot when I’m nervous and when I’m upset, sometimes I struggle to know how to balance my emotions. It’s a work in progress. But I often fear that people take my moments of weakness and judge me based on that momentary struggle.

But I have found that reaching out and talking really helps. If there are people you are questioning, maybe just gently approach them and talk to them about what’s on your mind. But it’s important to trust people when they say it’s fine. Believe them. Allow yourself to take their words and trust it. I know sometimes it can be hard to.

It’s good that you are recognizing that it could just be in your head instead of true. I think we can all get in our head sometimes with these thoughts.

I have also told people that if there is something going on that they feel that needs to be addressed, to please talk to me. I am very open to receiving people if they think I need to work on something. I want to grow and improve as a person. So, also be open to people when you talk to them. Be open to their feelings as you would want them to be of you. This usually grants a chance for the relationships and friendships to strengthen.

Know you are loved, cared for and valued.