I don't like my own body

Hey Friends,

So I’ve noticed that I have been putting some weight on recently, I’ve never been really slim, but it was just a normal body size may be a little bit bigger. I was always unsure about taking my top off, but now I don’t want to around anyone, because I can feel my self-getting bigger. I try to eat healthier, but I’m not a huge fan of salad and my mother isn’t as supportive in my weight loss, she’s in a middle-age bracket and sizeable, so I think she has unhealthy eating in her head and at that age where she doesn’t want to make changes. I can slowly feel my shirts and tops getting tighter and it makes me feel uncomfortable and I feel like I’m being judged because of it, not sure if this is true, but I know I’m only 17 and have loads of time to get into shape, but I don’t want to get any bigger and don’t want to look like some of the people who are in their 30-40’s how are plus sized. I just want to feel comfortable in my body and be healthy. And as I can feel my self-getting bigger, more stretch marks are appearing and it’s making me hate my body more.
In Dec '17 I was 83 KG (13 Stone, 3 IB). BMI = Very Overweight
In Aug '18 I am 85.5 KG (13 Stone, 6 IB) BMI = Very Overweight
during this it has been up and down and I thought I lost quite a bit in May and it has all come pounding on, I know it’s not that heavy, but i’m 17 and it’s more fat and how I look that I’m worried about than how much i weigh per say.
That’s for reading this and I could use your input and opinions. It’s really had me down for the past few weeks

We are about the same weight. I have lost a little since getting on antidepressants but at 17 I can understand that it feels like a lot. I’m 27 and when I first started gaining weight I felt really awful about myself. The benefit for you is that you are young and still have a really fast metabolism so I will tell you the things I wish I knew at your age:

Just because it’s a salad, doesn’t mean that it’s a healthy meal. You need to watch the overall nutrients of your food and the amount of calories you are eating vs expending. If you don’t exercise then that will limit the number of calories you can eat. Bike riding is a fun and low impact exercise that will give you sexy thighs (whether you are male or female)

Muscle weighs more than fat. Don’t base your self esteem on your weight. Work hard to feel good about yourself but don’t hold yourself to a number

Put a calorie counter and step counter into your phone. You will be amazed at how much it helps when you are conscious of what you are putting into your body. Don’t forget to take at least a half a multivitamin though



Thanks for feeling comfortable enough to talk about your struggle.

Know that you are not alone. Weight is always a hard thing to process.

I agree with @Confused, just because it’s a salad (or “advertised” as being the healthy choice doesn’t mean it is). Downloading a fitness app (like my fitness pal or another), can really help, because it breaks down what is in what you are eating and that way you can actually see when you are eating healthier.

As someone who has struggled with an eating disorder for almost half my life, my biggest advice is to do it well and healthy. Crash diets, may help you lose weight fast but unless you keep them up (which is even worse than going on them) you end up gaining back more weight than you lost. Focus on eating well and find some kind of exercise that you like doing - it doesn’t matter what it is, if you like it you’ll keep doing it.

In my attempts to recover from my eating disorder, (something I have learned from fit people) is that they focus more on getting fit/stronger than losing weight. It boosts mood in the process and it makes the progress (and sometimes the lack of progress easier) because even if you only have lost a little weight/or less than you wanted initially, you still feeling the differences of being stronger, fitter ect. and so it makes the bumps along the way more tolerable because it is a different mind set.

Remember you are beautiful and precious regardless.


To second what @Michellelena said, please make sure you avoid any type of health fad along with the crash diets. No amount of pills or body wraps or fancy shakes will help you more than just exercise and watching what you eat. Be good to yourself. You are perfect, you only need to focus on your happiness


Friend, I relate to your struggles. I’ve been on the bigger side since puberty (the joys of PCOS and autoimmune diseases!) and I get it. It’s hard to feel like your own body isn’t acceptable. It’s also hard when family members are stuck in their own worlds and can’t see what’s going on in yours. Some advice I can give you, as a woman who’s struggled with her weight and her self-worth, is that learning how to love yourself is a long journey with so many ups and downs. I’m still on that journey, and maybe I always will be. But loving yourself for who you are, and not just for how you look, is so worth the journey. I know that’s not what you’re focused on right now, but it’s so important. Finding your value in the right places helps you realize that nothing as simple as weight or looks can have an effect on the priceless value of yourself.
I encourage you to maybe try following some body positive people on social media, and see that the lies we’re sold about what women should look like are just that- lies. You are beautiful, amazing, worthy, and valuable no matter what you look like.

Also- BMI is a really terrible way to assess your health and your weight. BMI is becoming widely regarded as a load of crap, because it takes nothing but height and weight into account. It doesn’t look at body fat composition, gender differences, cultural differences, health conditions, muscle tone, etc etc etc into consideration. So don’t let anyone tell you that BMI alone determines how healthy you are.

But like the others have said, if health is what you’re after, fueling your body with nutritious, whole foods is the best thing. The less processed a food is (aka the closest to its natural state) the better it is for you. Don’t just focus on calories, because they don’t equal healthy or unhealthy. Listen to your body, it knows what it needs. If you’re hungry, eat. And drink lots of water too. Sometimes dehydration feels like hunger. Also exercise in any form is great for your body. Again, listen to your body and don’t push it too hard, especially when you’re just starting out. Movement is great, in any form. Find what you like to do, and do that. Exercise doesn’t have to mean just going to the gym either. My friends and I love going to the trampoline park and jumping around, or walking my dog. Again, it’s all about balance and listening to your body. When you treat it well, it will treat you well too.

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What’s up @Mini

Know that no matter what you are beautiful and amazing and that you feel safe enough to talk about this is awesome. I must admit, I’m on the other side of the journey meaning I’ve been the small skinny kid my whole life and now trying to gain muscle mass. Struggling with weight and body issues is something that a lot of people go through just know that you are not alone. As far as the BMI it doesn’t take in one’s caloric intake vs outtake nor does it factor in the weight as either muscle or fat. If you are concerned about health make sure you are getting in proper nutrients. While salads are lower in calories they may not be all that healthy. I’m sorry that your mom does not support you in your journey, to say it would hurt would be an understatement. Know that you can always talk to any of us here about anything and everything. With exercise find what you enjoy whether it be walking, lifting weights, yoga, martial arts or playing different sports. To agree with everyone else, do not do crash or fad diets they do not work. It is a journey and it takes time and know that you are amazing no matter what. Keep hanging in there and best of luck to you.

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Hey @Mini,

I am proud of you for posting- I know it is not always easy.

Please know you are not alone in this.

I know how hard it is to love ourselves sometimes but please know it is possible.

I’ve struggled a lot with it but it takes work and practice- I believe in you.

Hold fast.

With love,
Lyss (ur old pal Blurryface)

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