I don't matter

I am alone. I grew up in foster care, I was tossed from home to home until i left when I was 18. My bio mom lives in Wisconsin and is to wrapped up in her other kids and her own drama to care my father left when i was 9 months, lives in L.A and has a new wife and a new child. I’m lucky if I see him once a year. My husband cheated got another woman pregnant and says it’s all my fault cuz I neglected him. I have no job. (Full time student trying to get my A.A in culinary arts.) I have a few friends but if I don’t text them they don’t text me. My biologIcal family doesn’t invite me to family dinners or birthday parties. Their excuse is oh we forgot. I feel like if I disappeared tomorrow no one would even notice. Or if they did it would just be like oh well. I feel alone. I feel like I don’t matter. I feel like maybe if I had been prettier or nicer or smarter people would want to stay around. But they never do. I feel like something is wrong with me. That I’m defective in some way. And I don’t have anyone around me who cares.

You do matter. You may have some abandonment issues that a therapist can help you work through. Sometimes people disappoint us and let us down sounds like your husband and your parents made you feel this. Life is what we make it find what makes you happy work on making yourself stronger and sometimes family can be found in others. Keep your mind occupied with positive things and find a few hobbies that challenge you in a positive way. I believed in you and you do matter. Please don’t give up.

2 Likes

hey,
i just want to say you are loved and cared for and i know it sounds cliche, but i mean it…
i love you, even if we are complete strangers it does not mean i cannot have love for someone on this world that i have never met. if you need a friend, i am sooooo here for you! i know what it is like to not have anyone, it sucks and it hurts, but good news!! i am your new friend… i am not sure how we can connect, but i would love to be here for you every second of the way.
what you went through, it hurts, its painful, but the past is the past, it does not define who you are… your parents may seem to not care, but there are so many people in this world that you do not know need you. you matter.
~ trinity x

2 Likes

Thank you so much. I really needed to hear this.

hey!
of course… its going to be alright. i love you.
if you want to stay in touch, which i would love to, we can email.
it is up to you! but just know i am here for you and am your new friend <3

~ trinity x

1 Like

Thank you. That would be really nice.

hey!

yay!!!
what is your email?

~ trinity x

hey!!

i emailed you!!
talk to you soon!!

~ trinity x

Im sorry but I never got it.

hey!!

ok, thats fine. my email is @paristhecoolperson@gmail.com
send me an email and lets chat away!!
~ trinity