I don't think I will ever be able to be in a relationship

I truly don’t think I can be in one, I know I’ve posted in the past about wanting to be in one and not feeling alone but, unfortunately for me I don’t believe I would be good for anyone else. I feel like I would end up ruining any kind of relationship if I was to ever actually end up in one.
I just wish I could have been a different person instead of the freak that I am.

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Hi Friend,
what makes you believe all this ? why do you think like that ?
i don’t think so. we all know this feeling very well. i know very well. we all could be different people, if we etc etc
there is no if. there is no different. there is the here and now. and that matters.
you don’t think you can be in one ? you do not have to decide that, if someone wants to be with you, that their choice.
you won’t be good for anyone else ? that is also the choice of the person who will be with you.
you think you would ruin it ? what if you would be great at it ?
often we wish to be someone other. to escape our here and now. i do that also. especially in days when depression
is back, in times when i feel the lowest. what if in the past i would have ? shut up Aardvark, there is no what if.
i am here because i made my decisions in the past. we can not change what was. we can change what is and what
will be. we can take action now, we need to take action now. for ourselves. for you !
it’s needed to let that all out, everything whats on your mind. clear that out, go for a walk and enjoy the air.
that can lift your mood maybe. try to stick to things you love, find things you love. find people. find hearts out there.
there are. people who care, and love. for everyone. for you. feel loved my friend, because you deserve that.
you matter most :purple_heart: feel hugged

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The reason why I believe this is because I know the type of person I am, and I’m not a good person when I think about being in a relationship I only think about what I can get from it not what I can offer. I’m selfish and no good.

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that will come along with it.
when someone is seeing the right thing in you, then they will get, what they are searching for. it is their decision
and their reflection on you. you might see yourself as selfish now, but what will be when someone is getting the
best out of you ?`love can do much. love is the strongest force on earth.
you will do great ! give yourself time and take care

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Those thoughts can be so hard to break out of. We see the depths of ourselves that no one else can and we figure that if we can’t love that, then who could.
As @Aardvark mentioned, people choose who they want to love.
We then have a choice to embrace that love and let it be something we can find thanks and acceptance in. It can be very hard, and I’ve often pushed people away thinking I was doing them a service and protecting them.

Small steps seem like they aren’t getting us anywhere, but every journey begins with a step. It could be that next time someone tells you they love you, that you sit with that and don’t deflect it. It could be that you write affirmations to yourself every day, heck even every week if it’s overwhelming.

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Hi again, @lonelyfreak

I’m so sorry to hear how you’re feeling right now, but I totally understand how you feel. I just got out of a relationship myself, and it’s taken me all this time, where I thought I was in the wrong, to realize I wasn’t. It’s not necessarily a bad thing to be ‘selfish’, as you put it. But I would suggest that maybe looking into yourself as a person, and knowing what you want and don’t want in a relationship, might help you paint a better picture and make moving towards having a relationship easier and less stressful for you. I don’t think the problem is with you, you’ve just probably had bad experiences in the past that shaped you into being cautious.

Take care, and keep us updated hun.

Well I’m feeling a bit better my mind isn’t constantly filled with negative thoughts.

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That’s good to hear! Do you need to get anything else off your chest?

I mean I probably have a lot but I don’t want to be a bother or an annoyance to anyone.