People always say “My parents are abusive, but they weren’t raised well and they’re doing the best they can” and I just can’t feel like that. They hurt me, they neglected my physical and mental health. I haven’t gone clothes shopping with them since I was a child, and I filled my wardrobe by buying my own stuff and having other people take me to get clothes. My parents have only taken me to the eye doctor ONCE and the rest of the time my grandparents have had to take me. The only reason they got me a therapist was because my school was pressuring them since I was planning to off myself.
And you know what they said to me when I actually DID try to kill myself? They said “I don’t believe you actually did it”
So of course I’m going to hate them. They aren’t doing the best they can. They aren’t trying. They are hurting me, and I don’t want to pretend like they aren’t.
Hey, that must be really hard to hear from parents. Im so sorry your parents have neglected you and said that about your attempt. That is horrible. Regardless I am so happy you are still here❤️ There are people rooting for you and here to take care of you even if its not your parents friend. You wont always have to face them nor will you live under their roof forever. Hold fast <3
People always say “My parents are abusive, but they weren’t raised well and they’re doing the best they can” and I just can’t feel like that.
You are 100% allowed to feel the way you do. It’s not because your parents had a difficult childhood that they have to reproduce what they’ve been through with their own child. Sometimes, people tend to get things mixed up. A personal story, a context, an environment, can make someone’s behavior understandable. But that never erases the responsability that comes with it. What those people told you is a false belief that justifies generational trauma. Abuse is not a fatality and doesn’t have to be repeated through generations. There is a difference between understanding someone’s experience and excusing their behavior because of it. Parents have a responsibility to take care of their children, no matter what, and they can only start by dealing with their own story.
The way you perceive your parents and your relationship with them is yours. No one is living it for you, so no one else has to decide what you’re supposed to feel but you. This is your story. You own it.
I’m sorry you were neglected by your parents and also that they were dismissive when you shared about your attempt. I hope you know that, despite all of this, there are better relationships to create in this world and better experiences to have. You are worthy of love, care, safety. Please take good care of yourself, as much as possible given the circumstances. Your parents behavior is not the reflection of your worth.
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