I dont wanna go back to it

Okay so it has been a tough year, which I’m sure it has been for everyone. But from the end of yr10 to Yr 11, I was self harming. It was horrible. What makes me feel even more uncomfortable when thinking about it is the fact that when I did all that I didn’t see what was wrong with it. I just wanted to cary on. Now it’s been 4 months since I last did that, and now I’ve just started 6th form. It is actually so stressful, like there is so much homework. And I don’t wanna upset my family by going back to all of that.

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Hey @Lise,

Going back to it doesn’t have to be what’s going to happen. Being 4 months free of self-harm is a huge accomplishment. I hear that now school has started again and you’re facing a stress you’ve already known before, so maybe the last 4 months were more peaceful. But that doesn’t mean that you’d relapse. These 4 months, you’ve learned to resist against urges to hurt yourself. You’ve manage to cope, to take care of yourself and not to use s-h as a way to get some relief. Right now, being aware of how school is affecting you is ALSO a huge strength. You seem to be quite self-aware of your limits, of how you react and how things affect you, which means that you can anticipate how things would be and make sure that you’d use all the resources you need to help yourself.

What are the things that have been helping you to cope during those 4 months?
Do you have people - family, friends - who know about your struggles and could support you?
Could your parents, friends or teachers help you to organize your days and the tasks you have to do so it wouldn’t be too overwhelming? (once we have a clear idea of what needs to be done, and when, it gives a tangible perspective, which is less stressful than seeing homework piling up for example).

You are not alone. You will get through this and relapse is not a fatality. This is about learning to manage your stress in ways that would remain healthy and non-harmful for you, which is something you can absolutely learn and accomplish. :hrtlegolove:

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4 months is a LONGGG time!! So proud of you for that! Please don’t be ashamed of not knowing back then. You were trying to cope as best as you could. 6th form hits hard, new subjects, totally different vibe. A routine and a schedule may help, homework never stops being a bummer. Just do your best, try to have some fun, take care of yourself as you study, and remember we’re all here cheering for you!

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Hi Lise
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. It is hard not to return to your old habits if you dont have other alternatives of coping. Especially when in a stressful situacion. It is good to find different methods of coping with stress other then self harm. It can be something like going for a walk, exercising, taking a hot or cold shower. There are many and it is important to find the ones that work for you.

I also wanted to say that it is good that you are trying to find help. You are strong and you have already held for 4 months which is a long time. Good job. Keep it up. :wink:

Take care
Bye

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