So… ive had the absolute week from hell. I really need help. It all started last weekend. My anxiety levels got super high, unbearable. I started having severe anxiety attacks there was lots of throwing up and it lasted hours. Last sunday night I went to the hospital for it. They barely did anything for me except give me medicine which is helping some… but im still getting sick. The anxiety is still kind of unbearable. I do have a doctors appointment tomorrow however to get blood work done to make sure it isnt health related and talk to my doctor about the next step. My mom is upset with me for causing extra bills though. I costed my family more money with medical bills and I feel terrible about it when they are already having financial issues. Also on Wednesday me and my boyfriend broke up… we had been dating for 4 months. It needed to be done anyway. He was hurting my mental health. He was being mean to me and yelling at me so part of me is relieved We broke up but the other part of me is heart broken… the icing on the cake to all of this is my rabbit is sick. He is 5 years old and I think he is dying:( I also have to go to the vet tomorrow with him to see if there is any thing they can do to help the little guy and fix him or put him down:( it really hurts. Im SO attached to him and he is just the sweetest little thing. Also my two best friends seem to be kind of pushing me away which really hurts. But im used to getting pushed away. I just dont understand it. Whats wrong with me? I feel like no one even cares. I also almost self harmed yesterday. Im two months clean but ive been having strong urges to relapse. I feel like I just dont care anymore. All this that has been going on this week just is making me depressed. For a while I was doing/ feeling better! Things have been kind of going right for me and everything has started to become okay. I feel like im just plummeting. Like all the progress I have made is down the drain. I feel like nothing matters anymore. From one week im. So. Done. I really don’t know what to do. There has been so many tears and so much pain.
It sounds like you have a lot of life stuff happening right now. I’m sorry! It sounds like its sort of a rough time and one thing keeps hitting you after the other. It is hard and I wish I had the right words to say. You should be really proud of yourself for taking care of yourself. You broke up with a boyfriend who was not kind to you and that in itself is something hard to do and its not easy, but you did it! In addition to that, you are proactively seeking help. You aren’t sitting around letting the anxiety get the best of you, you are working on yourself and that’s amazing. You really should be proud of yourself for this. It really sucks about your rabbit, I’m sorry about that. I have a five year old poodle and she is my world. I can imagine how hard it must be dealing with your rabbit being sick. I’ve learned in life that friends come and go, and these friends that you feel that are pushing you away, it could be happening because you are outgrowing them. There is nothing wrong with you and we do care about you here! You are loved and you are unique, there is no one on this planet like you! So much love to you!
Damn sound you having a really hard time and im sorry you are going through this. I think it mess up that your family is mad at health bills, becuase it like being mad at sound that has a heart attack, you cant prevent anxiety.
I know it suck breaking up with you boyfriend, but if he cause more harm than good, it not worth you mental health. Now all this extra enegry you can use on yourself and focus on your mental heatlh.
Also, im sorry about you rabbit that suck seem your pet suffer like that or any living creature.
Remeber we all are going through this and Im also have been dealing with bad anxiety too. But remeber you are doing the best can and you over come this anxiety.