I don't want to upset my parents

Hello, people.

I’m in a really stressful time in my life and I don’t know how to handle it. I have started driving lessons in January 2018 and it is currently July. I have only had 16 lessons because driving is to scary for me and there’s that much I have to think about it is too much for me to handle.

I have many last minute jutters and cancel lessons within my pre 24-hour cancellation period because that hour lesson a week can be really scary for me. There have been times where I have been counting the days until I have to have another lesson and then sometimes I come up with excuses some are real reasons and some aren’t. My driving instructor told me to stop cancelling just before the 24 hour free period because they have said I’ve been wasting the lessons for others.

I would be more then happy to cancel the lessons and then try again at a later stage in my life, but I don’t want to just give up when the times get tough and she yells at me when I do things wrong. But each lesson costs £20 a lesson which my father has been paying for and I don’t want to have wasted £320 of his money.

I would like to stop, but I’m way to scared to tell them and waste my dad’s money just leading to possible arguments. But driving does scare me and it’s just adding more stress and things to a student who is struggling with college.

I feel like I’ve wanted to stop for a while, but I was always unsure if I would regret it, but I kept thinking about it, but could never do it

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Mini - I feel like that on the build up to driving lessons too but I have a brilliant instructor who is so understanding - maybe it’s not that you’re scared to drive, you just don’t have the connection with your instructor? It might be worth looking into someone else to learn with. If you find it really is driving that is causing you stress, it’s not going to be a waste of moeny at all because you can always pick it up later. My sister had to do that - she took a years break from it and then went back to it. This is YOUR mental health, YOUR life, not your parents. If you feel like finding another instructor won’t change things then tell them you need to take some time. I hope things work out for you, you can do this.

Hold fast

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Hey @Mini,

I remember when I first started driving - I was really scared too! Similarly to when you start anything new, anxiety can crawl up because your muscle memory hasn’t adjusted to the new activity yet. The more you practice, the better you’ll become at it, and the less scared you’ll be while doing it. In the meantime, don’t be afraid to tell your dad something just because he might respond irrationally. This is your life, be who you want to be. :slight_smile:


First off driving is scary I can relate to the first time I drove in a car. I had a break for 2 months. It took me 2 years to get my p plates and this was with a driving instructor. So your not alone. I

I am scared of driving new places today. It will get better. Your parents will come around eventually. Plus it is not like giving it up all together you know. Don’t stress.
Hold fast

Hey there friend!

I was in a very similar situation a couple years ago. Around the beginning of 2014, my online charter school (what I did for my junior/senior year) decided to pay for me to take behind the wheel driver’s training after I passed my permit test. At the time, driving was utterly terrifying….i would pretty much have a full on anxiety attack before the session, at the start of every session, and then go sleep for 4 hours after each session. I’d also be shaking a like a leaf in a breeze the whole time. Unlike you, I was never able to cancel so I had to push through the anxiety which usually made me sick after every session. It was awful but you can get through it.

Try your best to not cancel appointments. Do breathing exercises before you leave. Yes, driving is scary but it is okay. I am now 21 and, after 5 years, working towards my license. It is still scary but I’m realizing its much easier to be an adult and go places to do things if I can drive.

If you are way too scared, it might be equally as terrifying but talking to your dad might be a good idea. Tell him you’re scared. In all honesty, while I did finish my course….I did not pursue my license after the courses ended due to being scared. It took taking a break and maturing some more to finally be at a place where I can do it. Yes, I regret not getting my license sooner but at the same time….I’m glad I waited and built up my confidence before fully going for it as its made me a better driver and raised my chances of passing.

No matter what you decide, it doesn’t make you a failure or any less competent. Sometimes we all go at different speeds in life…its okay to be a bit behind. Do whatever you think is best for you. You got this friend. Love you!

Wishing you the best,
Bethy - Team Out of the Ashes

Hey mini! It’s okay to be anxious, I get anxious all the time when I drive. It’s a scary thing to begin, trust me, I know. My first time driving I backed into an off duty police officer. My advice would be to just breathe, take it one step at a time.
As far as the lessons go, I think mentioning this anxiety your getting to your parents and your instructor would go a long way. They’ve both been in your place, and know exactly what it’s like.
We believe in you friend,
Hold fast.