So, things have been really rough for me. I was in such a happy place until Sunday. everything was so freaking wonderful. I had a boyfriend, and for once, they didn’t question anything about my past, they simply just left it go. Things seemed to be going really good for me until he said something and it made me have a panic attack. It was my fault for not telling him sooner, and now I think I lost him. Fail number one. Fail number 2 is when I thought it would be okay to ask for advice on what to do about it. I was so stupid for thinking I could ever have a decent relationship. Three was when I tried to make it up to him and bought him his favorite food and drink, he wouldn’t take it. Fail 4 was when I was talking to a friend from here, and I wouldn’t let him know because he automatically blamed my boyfriend for my dampened mood. I told him it was nothing, and he wouldn’t let it go. Number 5 was when I was angry and blew up on my dad because I was already angry, and he wasn’t helping, he was making it worse. I failed trying to be there for 3 of my friends. I had 2 attempt suicide and 1 with completely bloodied arms. I don’t know how much more I can take, I’m so physically and mentally drained
Not every decision in Life is the best. Sometimes a decision is good, Sometimes it’s Not. Give yourself a breathing room. Not everything is Bad. You will learn how You can Deal with that decisions. Everytime You Fall, You will raise Higher. I believe in You.
I am so sorry you had to go through that with your friends. That’s never easy. But please remember that despite any and all failures you may have had, you are NOT a failure. You can certainly get to that happy place again.
Communication and openness in a relationship takes time, and it’s okay for it to be lacking sometimes even in couples who have been married for decades. It sucks and it must be really difficult to have all these things happen in such a short span of time, but your perceived mistakes and shortcomings do not define you. I would urge you to try to look at what you have been succeeding with recently – maybe what led to your state of happiness before this. You can get there again. We believe in you.
Please never hesitate to reach out to this community again if you feel you want to or need to. Hold fast.