I feel all alone--like my life means nothing

I have been two years clean of self harm. 2 months ago i moved from minnesota to louisiana and left my friends in MN. these 2 months have been the worst of my life because the two things that kept me alive and happy were my friends and music, but i can only have music now because i can’t see my friends, I feel alone, i feel like i have nobody who cares in louisiana, and I feel like my life is pointless. I can die right here right now and it would mean nothing. after two years without self harming i now feel like the knife is my only friend. I didn’t do it yet but the urge is very strong. please write back, say anything you want, whoever you are, because just the words of support from any of you could save my life.

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Hey,
It’s always hard moving, especially to a state where you don’t know anyone. But you can always contact your friends to talk to when you’re feeling rough.
And you can always make new friends. You’re not that only one looking to make new friends, I would recommend joining a group based on your interests and finding new people there. You’ll quickly fit in and create a new social circle without really trying.
You are not alone, you have friends who are just a phone call away. Your life matters to these people, use them as support if you are feeling alone.

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What you’re doing now is what you need.

You mentioned you’ve moved and lost a resource which is your friends. You could contact them like you did us and that could help a little. It is great you have music still. What I suggest is trying to make new friends where you live. I know its been 2 months, but get out. Start conversations and go to activities focused on what you like to do. If you’re trying to figure out how to have a conversation or what activity to start with. I suggest your music.

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Hey, I Love_Metal too! Ha :slight_smile:

I remember feeling similar…scrolling through my address book every night and realizing there’s not a single person on there that gives a rip about me right now. I could disappear and none of them would even notice. It’s a scary thought, and it’s a dark place, and I empathize with what you’re going through.

I can firmly say that it’s just not true. Your life is not a tree that would fall in the middle of a forrest and never be heard. It’d be more like a building collapsing in the middle of a city. Your life has gravity and importance. I have lost (even distant) friends to suicide, and the impact is horrifying. The tragedy you’d cause by giving up would be too much for many to bear.

I actually find a lot of comfort in Elliot’s interview from Blessthefall

Check it out. There’s so much truth in there. You matter and are irreplaceable. It’s okay life sucks in this season, but you are not alone, and you will make it through this.

-Nate

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hey, it’s a rough change you’re going through. changes usually have a good and a bad side to them, and the bad side’s hitting you pretty hard. i hope you find yourself somethign worth in louisiana.

until then, we’re with you. hold fast!

Man I understand this so well.

So two years ago I moved to Houston, TX with no friends here and no one really to hang out with but my family. One whole year I did nothing but work. It sucked. I found a church to get plugged into… I did not hang out with anyone. My taste in music and life was different but soon I found someone One person that I could Hang out with. Barely now I am finally starting to go out and hang out with new friends. Seriously it sounds like this sucks but seriously it took time and soon God placed good friends in my life. I found new things to place my focus into and enjoy. (ex. HEARTSUPPORT)

It took some kicking my own butt and forcing myself to do something to feel better about myself. Because if you do not have self love and self worth loneliness can take over very quickly.

Things take time. Maybe a long time. But things will change.

Everything will be okay.

Morgan Vincent Hochstetler