I’m up early, I’m going to work very early today, and the kids are coming in 2 hours late, I’m going to be staring at nothing for awhile today.
Me and my boyfriend are currently very stressed. After this recent Christmas, I made the decision to use up all my money to give him a gaming computer. It’s something he’s wanted for a very very long time and I wanted to get that out of the way so I can begin saving money for a car and permit things at the start of the year. I realize how dumb and irresponsible it sounds, but that was my plan.
Obviously the purchase didn’t look right to my boyfriend’s biological father and his wife. 2 weeks later to now they burst into anger when I asked about a package coming in saying that if either of us don’t get a permit, we need to find somewhere else to live. Obviously they are much too upset to explain myself and they are not the type that you can open up and talk to easily, they keep stuff short.
We both despise yelling, it’s a little part of why we left my family. Being yelled at in front of everyone about how you’re basically irresponsible and will be kicked out does not make you feel welcome in a home, and it gives you massive stress.
To be honest, we haven’t been very responsible with our money, it’s our first time having some freedom with it. I just wish someone could talk to me without yelling at me when they’re upset, I’m so very tired of being yelled at. I don’t feel very heard here, and I don’t feel like family (not that I am) I don’t feel like my boyfriend does too much either, but that’s a separate topic.
I had plans to visit family in February and if you happen to know about that, this won’t be fun to tell them the news. First I had plans for Thanksgiving, didn’t work. Then Christmas, didn’t work. Then February (school winter break) now I’m screwed there. This won’t be fun.
I’m stressed, I don’t feel welcomed at home, I have to cook at some point because more people in the house need to cook (AKA me and bf), I’d much rather cook for ourselves but these are the rules when you live under someone’s home.
I have work sometime this morning and I need to put on a positive face for the kids and my coworkers while my heart beats constantly all day. My poor bf is the one who knows how to drive already so he needs to go through the pain of asking them when he can go to the dmv first. They were never very welcoming to talk to and it’s hard enough asking someone to do something for you. I feel like he always gets so much blame.
I don’t know what to do with myself and I’m very stressed.