Im at the end of myself. I don’t see any purpose to continue. I have faith in Jesus and how this sound people are probably going to doubt that. I’m praying that he shows me that there’s hope left in the world because i can’t see it. I’m tired of pretending to myself and everyone around me that everything is ok. I just want the nightmares, and all the things going on in my head that I don’t understand to stop. God if you hear me I need hope I need to see that there is still light in this world. I need to feel your peace because I’m tired and done trying
Thank you for posting @Loveinflyleaf. First of all, just because we have problems or doubts doesn’t mean that we stop having faith. We are humans after all. I’ve been in a similar situation for a while and I’ve really deconstructed and questioned my faith. I still have my struggles but I now see Jesus as a true friend of mine because that’s what he is. Jesus loves you no matter what you’re going through and he will never ever give up on you. It can be exausting trying to be something that you’re not. I strongly encourage you to just be yourself and don’t worry about what other people will think. I know it’s easier said than done but give it a try. It sounds to me that you’re holding in a lot of pain by acting like everything is ok when it’s really not. I recommend that you talk to someone you trust or a therapist and just let everything out. Don’t hold anything back. Also, talk to Jesus about everything that you’re going through. Something that has really helped me is just talking to him like I would a friend and just pouring my guts out to him. Tell him everything that you think/feel. God does hear you and he’s gonna be with you through everything, good or bad. If you need to talk to anyone at anytime I’m here for you because I care.
You are not alone in this. We are here for you.
I know how it feels to be at the end of your rope- like things won’t ever get better, but that is simply not true.
I’ve been at rock bottom many many times. I’ve relapsed with self injury more times than I can say- I’ve had a lot of days full of just feeling numb. I’ve had a lot of days full of tears and pain and self hate.
But I’m still here.
And I know you can keep going- keep fighting.
Things may be really bad right now- but just know it’s ok to cry, it’s ok to be sad for some time- but we have to pick ourselves back up, and we are here to help you do that.
There will be better days- this too shall pass.
Hold fast. I believe in you.
Lyss (ur old pal Blurryface)