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I feel empty inside, I just kinda exist with no purpose

Lately Ive really been struggling. I’m 28 years old and I can’t seem to make any progress in life. I managed to get a college degree but then all this covid stuff happened so Ive spent the last year living with family. I understand that I’m lucky to have a place to stay but I feel like such a loser. I have some health problems that have made it really hard to get work right now (as if it was easy without the health problems) and I just spend all my time at home, alone.

It seems ever step forward is 2 steps backwards in my life. There really isn’t a lot I want from life. I want a job I don’t hate where I can live somewhat comfortably. I want to eventually be in a health relationship, and I want a group of friends who I feel value me and I them.

No matter how hard I work I feel like I can’t make any progress towards any of these goals. i’m tired of pretending to be someone i’m not just to be around people. when I was younger it was easier to connect to people online, now I wonder why I even try. No one reaches out, or says hi or wants to get to know you.

I’m just coasting through each day waiting to hear from one doctor or another about one test or another. It hurts to pee, it hurts to poop, hell it hurts if I see a pretty woman and get turned on. One doctor, then another, then another. One day , then another , then another. wish I could just be normal.

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Ugh hey friend, it sounds like you are going through a really tough time and it just keeps piling on. There’s the pandemic and your job and even your body can’t seem to work properly. I cant imagine how incredibly frustrating that must be and how defeated you feel.

You keep trying to make a better life for yourself but it just seems like everywhere you turn there is something there to block you.

My encouragement is to keep moving. Eventually a door will open that will provide a path to new opportunities. Keep reaching out. You will find people who want to connect and grow with you.

Dont give up. You’re too important and you’ve come too far.

T

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@WakaWaka

I’m sorry you are in a bad season. But you won’t stay like this. Keep reaching. You’ll never who will answer.

Thanks for the kind words, I Just wish I could get to know someone and talk regularly with them. I honestly just want to make friends.

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I’m sorry you’re going through this, I feel like this too, but I don’t want to feel this way either. I don’t want to be empty, I want to be happy. I want other people to be happy, I want everyone to just be at peace. I want to have friends at my school, and if I fail and drop out I will most likely lose all of them. And if that happens… Idk where I will go… I just want a friend to talk to too. Someone that I can be open about my issues with who won’t be burdened by them. I just want a day to see everyone around me the happiest they’ve ever been. I want to talk to people too. But I feel like I’m disturbing them so I don’t. I wish things could be better for you, really.
-X