Lately Ive really been struggling. I’m 28 years old and I can’t seem to make any progress in life. I managed to get a college degree but then all this covid stuff happened so Ive spent the last year living with family. I understand that I’m lucky to have a place to stay but I feel like such a loser. I have some health problems that have made it really hard to get work right now (as if it was easy without the health problems) and I just spend all my time at home, alone.
It seems ever step forward is 2 steps backwards in my life. There really isn’t a lot I want from life. I want a job I don’t hate where I can live somewhat comfortably. I want to eventually be in a health relationship, and I want a group of friends who I feel value me and I them.
No matter how hard I work I feel like I can’t make any progress towards any of these goals. i’m tired of pretending to be someone i’m not just to be around people. when I was younger it was easier to connect to people online, now I wonder why I even try. No one reaches out, or says hi or wants to get to know you.
I’m just coasting through each day waiting to hear from one doctor or another about one test or another. It hurts to pee, it hurts to poop, hell it hurts if I see a pretty woman and get turned on. One doctor, then another, then another. One day , then another , then another. wish I could just be normal.