I feel everyone try control my life

Ever since I was a kid, I always had people try to tell what to do. Like my parents telling me to go to church , my sister telling what music should I listen too, my friends telling how to talk to girl and all my bands mate try tell how be a good musician. Never felt I could ever be myself or live my life freely.

My co worker at job is always telling what to do, like that my too old to be skateboarding, I spend too much money and that I need to grow up. My Boss is always making me do bitch work like clean glass, like I’m worthless and useless. I get paid shit money and I feel I’m to there eye another slave. Every job had I felt I was a slave that no right and treat I’m damn fool.

It like teacher in middle, they if I follow there stupid rules that I would be happy. School system all do is set for people to fail, say you can be what you want to be and all that bullshit. They don’t teach you how to be happy and find what right for you.

Everyday I just I’m nothing, honestly I don’t can think for myself. It gotten were I want to hurt and just explode. Sometimes I think of suicide ( which try avoid.) in someway I’m just an moron that too dumb for thing beside cleaning windows.

2 Likes

Hey friend,
How you feel is understandable. Some of this sounds like you might be able to change it, like seeking employment somewhere else, and staying involved with things you enjoy to help you be happy, especially when things are not going so great. You have value friend, and are worthy of respect. You are worthy of surrounding yourself with caring people too, if you have friends that are not supportive and nurturing, its okay to distance yourself from them and seek out the relationships that bring you joy. Maybe try talking to your parents and sister about how it makes you feel when they are telling you what to do. Hang in there, we’re here for you.

3 Likes