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I feel fat, even though i'm "skinny"

i’ll start off by telling you what probably is important. i’m 15, 4’11, and 98 lbs. sure, that doesn’t sound like a lot, but i hate it. i look so fat to myself, and i just want a flat stomach. i just want to be pretty but it seems like it’ll never happen. i have tried starving myself, and i’m honestly going to start doing it again. i dont care about the rest of me, i just want to be skinny. i want more people to comment on how skinny i look. my grandmother & mother are overweight, so i feel like i at least should be skinny. i want to be even skinnier than the rest of my friends. why won’t my body work with me? i feel so insecure about myself, that besides being in all advanced classes, being skinny and fitting everyone’s clothes better than them is the only thing that i can offer to anyone.

here’s the fun part, i’m tired of feeling this way. i’ve tried so desperately to find any way to love myself, but it seems to impossible! i compare myself to prettier girls every day and i just feel like im so inferior to everyone. i just want to accept who i am, but my confidence is negative & and my self-esteem even lower than such.

my ideal weight is 89 or 88, which i know would be 10lbs and would register me as underweight, but i don’t care. i want to fit xxxs.

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Hey @lourdes!

First off, thank you for being so vulnerable and honest. That is something I admire so much as it is hard to do.

I don’t have much advice but I can encourage you in this- You are strong. I mean the fact you were able to openly share this with us is a huge deal!

Have you talked to anyone in person? I know we are an online community and it can be hard when there’s not a physical person there. I would encourage you to reach out to someone you trust and be honest with them.

Hold Fast,
-SJ

Hi

have you tried talking to someone about this? I think that be an important step. I’m 5’1 and built bigger compared to others my height and it took me a very long time to not compare myself to people but I hope you will be able to do the same too. My therapist told me it just beats you up on the inside even more and it’s not worth it. I truly hope you are able to love yourself the way you deserve to.

sending positive vibes

alyssa

i thank you for even commenting ^^. i talked to my doctor, but they didn’t really do anything and never really elaborated on what i could do for help. i don’t know if i should get a therapist but there’s really not many people i can seriously talk to about this.

thank you for commenting ^^. i have tried talking to a doctor but nothing was built from the conversation. i thank you, and i too hope that maybe somehow i can finally be comfortable in my skin. thank you so much for the advice ^~^

I would encourage you to try a therapist, if you hate it, that’s okay too! I say it’s worth a shot though!

-SJ

I understand the body dysmorphia. I was a martial artist when I was your age and I was 5’4" and about 120-130lbs. The thing was that I felt gross because I didn’t understand that I wasn’t fat. Everyone around me was so skinny and told me I needed to lose weight but the real problem was that I was basing my happiness on a size. A number. No one knows that number but you, but everyone knows when you try to fit in clothes that are too small for you. I was really muscular when I was young and had hips/thighs/butt so no teen clothes were made to fit me, but I was so self conscious that I wouldn’t buy women’s clothes even though they would fit me better. I weigh a lot more now, about 180, and I can honestly say that i feel better about myself now than i ever did when i was skinny. I want to lose weight but its because i want to be healthy but i don’t hate myself. Body dysmorphia is always caused by something, for me it was a combination of my anxiety/depression/toxic environment. My cousin had the exact same problems growing up because of the toxic family environment. The sooner you can recognize what is causing your body dysmorphia, the sooner you can start feeling better about yourself. A therapist is very important in this instance.

I relate to you so much because… I AM LITERALLY IN THE SAME POSITION YOU ARE! I’m 4’11 around 95 pounds, thinking I’m fat but everyone thinks I’m skinny. I am also in advanced classes and want a flat stomach. My family has a history of heart disease and diabetes. I’ve been trying to lose weight by working out, and it’s worked slightly, but I love food too much. I’m not allowed to starve myself because my parents always make sure I have at least one meal a day. The only reason I can fit into other people’s clothes is because I’m short. I’ve asked my friends for advice and confided in them that I feel very insecure about my weight, but they always say, “You…Fat???” And tell me that I’m not, but when I look in the mirror all I see is an insecure pig. I always compare myself to others and never feel like I’m doing enough or I look good. I’m so pathetic that I even compare myself to my drawings! The only thing that has helped me out is BTS. I know it sounds cheesy, but BTS has really gotten me through so many things. I listen to their music and their message and I feel slightly better. They have a motto, “Love Yourself” and that has boosted my confidence slightly. I’m not saying that you should listen to them, I’m just saying that you should find something that makes you feel happy like music and whenever you’re feeling insecure, just listen to it. Find a passion, something to get your mind off of it.

I hoped this helped and I hope you feel better
-Your Friend, BTSTrash

hey @lourdes ,
You are not fat your still skinnt. Im 19 and im around 105 pounds. im sorry your struggling. I kinda want to say this you dont need to loose weight, you are fine just the way you are. you do not to be under weight . you are loved .
-ash

i’m 12 and i’m 70lbs i

Let me tell you this YOU ARE PRETTY , starving yourself IS NOT healthy and you better not starve yourself. I’m not mad at you im just concerned for you. You asking for people to see you be unhealthy/super skinny isnt healthy. i dont know your full story but you deserve to be healthy you deserve to love yourself .

Let me tell you this do NOT compare yourself to other girls , this IS NOT healthy. You deserve to be healthy , you deserve to LOVE YOURSELF for YOU.
I know i responded to this before but i care about you love you friend hold fast