i’ll start off by telling you what probably is important. i’m 15, 4’11, and 98 lbs. sure, that doesn’t sound like a lot, but i hate it. i look so fat to myself, and i just want a flat stomach. i just want to be pretty but it seems like it’ll never happen. i have tried starving myself, and i’m honestly going to start doing it again. i dont care about the rest of me, i just want to be skinny. i want more people to comment on how skinny i look. my grandmother & mother are overweight, so i feel like i at least should be skinny. i want to be even skinnier than the rest of my friends. why won’t my body work with me? i feel so insecure about myself, that besides being in all advanced classes, being skinny and fitting everyone’s clothes better than them is the only thing that i can offer to anyone.
here’s the fun part, i’m tired of feeling this way. i’ve tried so desperately to find any way to love myself, but it seems to impossible! i compare myself to prettier girls every day and i just feel like im so inferior to everyone. i just want to accept who i am, but my confidence is negative & and my self-esteem even lower than such.
my ideal weight is 89 or 88, which i know would be 10lbs and would register me as underweight, but i don’t care. i want to fit xxxs.