This is my first time posting on this forum site, so let’s get straight to the topic…
I feel like I am worthless and that there is nothing I can do that is special for only me. I would know, because I have a lot of friends I love to talk with when I am feeling normal or positive. But when I see them draw better then me, or do something better then me such as in shiny hunting (a thing you do in Pokémon to get very rare alternative coloured Pokémon but requires a lot of patience) where they are clearly better then me. For example, one of my close friends on Discord is Fredderika. She’s a really nice friend and the both of us love Pokémon, but she is way better then me at streaming on Twitch, because she has the talent to know what to say to keep viewers on while I struggle with that and get about around 1 viewer or usually 0, and she is way better then me at drawing. So when I fail at drawing something every now and then, I know she and anyone else could draw better then me which gets me really jealous and down.
This is so relatable, friend…to feel like everyone out there, even the people close to you in your life, do just about everything better than you. It’s so defeating and feels like – what’s the point? If I’m never going to be unique, going to be good at something, going to be enough, what’s the point??
I want to encourage you…all the people that you feel jealous of, those people likely feel the same thing. We interviewed 800 people from the Twitch community, and people regardless of follower count / Twitch partnership / average viewers felt inadequate compared to someone else. “Feeling enough” isn’t in performance, it’s in perspective. And when you realize that streaming isn’t about being better than other people but about expressing yourself creatively, you can find freedom regardless of how many people show up, because you win every time you hit “Go Live.”
We have a book coming out called “You Are Not Your Stream” which is all about this. Whenever it drops, you should read it because it covers all of these things.
Either way, I’m so glad you shared here because you are NOT alone.
Thank you for being here!
We all compare ourselves to others for many different things … but it’s most of the time to devalue ourselves and, in the end, it prevents us from seeing our own capacities. What you wrote made me think of a wonderful video @Danjo made, accessible on HS’s Youtube channel. Hope you can find some inspiration and things to think about in it.
About streaming: hey, it takes a lot of energy and patience do to that, don’t forget it. It’s already a great initiative from you! I can only imagine the stress it can bring, but maybe in the beginning it would be better not to focus on the number of viewers. This raises the question of what motivates you to do streaming. I understand that having a number of viewers is rewarding, but you’re still starting and creating something new. The pleasure you take in your activities, your projects, is what matters the most. Performance must be the last of your worries at the moment. You’re in a step of discovery and learning. Have fun doing it!