I feel I’m hated by my own kind

I love skateboarding, and writing heavy music. They are my two main passion, however I never felt that fit with metal crowd and skate scene. I don’t have a lot close skaters friends and the metal scene in Boston hate me as a musician and as a person.

I always had supportive other bands, wear their merch, and watch their show. But they every band I have been in, has always that never fit in and every hate my music. I jam with this recently, now not even answering my messages. It like everyone too cool for me. It feel like no matter how I try to even get a local gig, no one want me. Hell ieven try give gear to local charity, but no one want my stuff.

I feel the metal scene hate cause I don’t have sex, do hard drug or smoke weed. Or don’t have enough tattoos or just dress in short shorts. The girl those scene like goth, emo and metal scene think I’m lame guy and they want nothing to do with me.

I just feel should belong in place we have everything in common and why do we need to divide us.


Hey, I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this. As someone who has a lot of trouble making friends (and keeping them), I sympathize with you. It’s really hard and frustrating to people who have common interests with you will accept you, but sadly we don’t fit in everyone’s box.
The first thing that came to mind is maybe trying to make friends using another hobby that interests you. The app MeetUp or groups on Reddit have online events that involve reading, music, literally any hobby/activity you can imagine. Maybe trying to make friends with others who have those kinds of interests, instead of ones with interests in metal/Emo scene? Does that make sense? I get that since you are very involved in the scene and it’s important to you, you want friends who have that important common interest, but maybe if you found friends with different hobbies, you could introduce them to it?
You will always find someone here who I bet would be more than happy to share that love for the scene with you and be your friend! Have you joined the HeartSupport discord? There seems to always be someone who likes chatting about those sorts of things that you’re looking for in a friend!
I believe in you and am confident that you will find people that you love. You may find them in the most random place ever, but they’re there. It isn’t your fault for others choosing to not be your friend. For some weird reason, a lot of people just don’t want to open up to inviting new people in, you know? I know it sucks and it would be better if people weren’t so cliquey, but there’s always a solution. Try to think of some other hobbies that make you happy. What are some things/hobbies/activities that you haven’t tried but want to try? Maybe start looking for online forums that host events, people who are interested in a activity you want to be part of and start talking to them, just to get a feel for it. Then from there, you can work towards hanging out with them? Would that be something you want to do? Even going to a mental health forum or support group would help you find your crowd, while also getting support and encouragement. Are you religious or spiritual? Would it be possible to give forums or communities like that a try and see if it fits you?
Proud of you for posting and reaching out. Again, I feel for you and am wishing you all the best. Feel free to post here whenever you want or post an update! Would love to hear from you again

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Hey @Metalskater1990,

You’re so right: why is there a need to be divided? Of course sometimes we just don’t get along with others because of personal characters or personality – that’s meant to be, and that’s okay. But it can be so frustrating when you feel like you belong in a place that keeps rejecting you somehow. No wonder it makes you think about possible reasons behind, but through it all one certainty remains: you are enough just as you are and you do belong. No matter your love situation, no matter your appearance, what you do, what you like or not… these are all so secondary when it comes to finding YOUR people. It’s all about what is within, what’s in their heart and yours too. If someone can’t see beyond these superficial elements, then they are probably simply not worth your time. You deserve true, genuine friendships in your life, without the pressure of having to meet specific standards or basically fit into the mold. You are worthy of so much more!

Hold fast, friend. I believe in you.

Watch interviews with Ryan Kirby of Fit For a King. He doesn’t drink, smoke, or have tattoos. He’s devoted to his wife and his faith. He struggles with some of the same insecurities you do, thinking maybe he’s not “metal enough,” but he’s very well respected and successful. It goes to show you’re not alone, and also that others like you feel alone too.


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