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I Feel Like a Burden to my Family

I’m stuck. I feel like I’m just here to stress my family out just because I can’t do a simple quiz or do today’s homework in 2-3 hours. I’m stressed out and I can’t do anything to un-stress because my mom says, “You have to get all your homework done in order to do this or this”, and it frustrates me because I feel like I’m not smart enough to do what a normal 10th grader would be able to do: Get their homework done in 2-3 hours with good grades and be able to understand their Geometry or their math. I feel like because I can’t get my homework done in the expected amount of time, I’m a burden and I feel like I’m here on the Earth only to be a burden and to stress people out. I feel like I should just leave the house and not come back or just leave the Earth, because I feel like no one would care about me being gone. They’d be happy to not have me there being the person stressing them out. My mom gave me options; Just do the homework, drop some electives, or go to regular school. I feel like I don’t have the capacity to do the homework in just a couple hours, I don’t want to drop electives because they are fun and I met some amazing people because of them, and the school near me has had some bad things said about it because it’s not the best school to go to. I’m not sure what to do but I’m starting to believe that normal school would be best but I also don’t want to leave virtual school because of my electives.

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You arent a burden. When I was younger I feel like I was stupid because I couldnt pasa any exam or make any homework right. It took me some years to realize that I am not stupid, is that there are some subject that for me are difficult. And to need more time to do your homework doesnt mean nothing, some people need more time to do it than other people but dont worry, the important thing is that you try to do it, so please dont feel bad and good luck​:raised_hands: and take care :hugs:

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I just want to say that maybe you just need more academic support, especially since you’ve said that you are struggling with homework and it sounds like you’re overwhelmed.

When I was struggling in school I found it really helpful to break down all the tasks that I had to do into smaller pieces. That way it was harder to feel overwhelmed and easier to see progress that I had made.

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@Maisnow
Thank you. It makes me feel a whole lot better reading this. :grinning:

@mayflower
I also try to break down the tasks, only focusing on one day at a time if I’m behind. Thank you for the suggestions and for the support :grinning:

Really ? Wow I am glad :hugs: Take great care​:raised_hands:

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I’m glad that we helped you to feel better. I also think asking a teacher of a subject you struggle with for more support with the work you have to do would also be a good idea. :slight_smile:

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From: tromboness

There’s no shame in struggling with homework. There are a lot of people that struggle with math subjects. Other people struggle in other subjects as well. Just because you aren’t as quick at homework as expected doesn’t mean you’re worthless or a burden.

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Hi friend! just because you cant get get your homework done in time doesnt mean youre a burden. What I do every sunday, I literally make a list of things that need to be completeled in the whole week from sunday to the next sunday. THen I take that and split it into about 5 days and write it in a planner. I also write aobut how long that should take me. everyone learns at different paces. A hw assignment that says itll take 20-25 mins, takes me one full hour. If school is a big part of your life and you’re very focused in school and the electives arent required, I would suggest dropping an elective. When you’re in college, sometimes you have to decide: schoolwork or going out with friends. And in order for me to do well and get my degree, sometimes I have to choose schoolwork.

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From: ladytapioca

For me I had a tutor for math and she suggested that I did something small, a bathroom break some water just a little mini mental reset to allow your brain to calm down. Look into a tutor or talk to your teacher about extra help! Also you talked about being in some electives maybe see if one of the students in those classes can help you out!

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From: redangl

try to reach out for help. There’s no reason to feel like a burden or not smart enough. Everyone feels this way at least one point In their life. I believe in you!

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From: all_around_ashley

hey there friend we love you thank you for posting , even though school stuff can take time and you feel like you are stuck , your not suck im sorry it feels like you may be rushed to do so . Im in college and taking 3 classes with studying . I have an iep and accommodations. i would beat my self up because i felt like i wasnt normal . but i know i am . We love you , Hold Fast

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BHey @alexgamer_hameowlton we spoke about your topic on the Danmakeshismark Twitch stream! He also made some cool art for you. If you’d like it sent to you, please email him [email protected]
Hold fast!

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Aww. Thank you for sharing!

we love you friend . @alexgamer_hameowlton thank you for sharing your story .
hold fast friend!

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My mom failed 7th grade because her math teacher (who was later fired for this reason) repeatedly told her she was dumb, she wasn’t smart enough, of course she wouldn’t get it. And my mom believed her because, after all, she was a teacher and she would know if anyone did. My mom took it to heart and believed she wasn’t that smart for 20-some-odd years until she realized that she was successfully running a household, managing finances, and solving life problems. She’s not dumb, she was never dumb, she just bought into a lie.

People are never as dumb as they think they are. We are our own worst critics. If you’re finishing the assignments, then you’re smart enough to understand, never mind how long it takes. And school isn’t a one-size-fits-all thing either. A guy I went to high school with got a 5/5 on the U.S. History AP exam (which has an average 50% passing rate), but failed history class.

You aren’t a burden on your mom for not finishing your homework fast enough. The moms whose kids are doing drugs, getting knocked up, or sneaking out could only wish that slow homework was their biggest problem. Your mom is tough on you because she doesn’t have any point of comparison, and she doesn’t know what to do with a slow-homework-doer because no one can tell her.

You’re old enough now that I think you could reasonably, calmly, rationally negotiate with your mom. If you need time to unwind before homework, try sitting down with her when things are calm and proposing that you have some downtime to clear your head before you start your homework, and in return you’ll guarantee that you’ll have your homework done by the end of the night. Finishing tasks on your own terms is hugely mature and responsible. Just don’t abuse it :slight_smile:

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