I feel like my parents are slowly stopping and trying to understand my anxiety. When ever I try to tell them how I feel they bring up every little thing they have done, but they yell at me for it. It makes me feel like my feelings are not valid and that they only are helping because they are my parents and have no choice. I know I have support at school but I feel like they actually don’t want to help and that they are only doing it because they have too. Like for example, when i walked into school today with tears running down my face the look I got from the secretary, and my school counselor made me feel like I was being over dramatic and my anxiety isn’t real and I just want to get out of going to school. I keep making my parents late to meetings and it makes me feel so bad and they don’t get that though. But I am making them late or miss things that are really important, they are missing their responsibilities because I refuse to go into school. I just feel disappointed in myself and I think my parents are disappointed in me too.
When I was still in school I battled with a lot of depression, anxiety and heavy emotions. Like you, I didn’t receive a lot of understanding in my home or my social circles. Sometimes I had friends who understood, but more often than not, I felt really alone in facing these things.
School counselors are supposed to be there to help and encourage you. So if they are not giving that to you, I’m really sorry.
Maybe you need to sit your parents down and tell them calmly and gently that you are having a serious hard time. That you are concerned for your mental health and see if maybe they would be willing to set up a therapist for you. This would allow you to have someone that you can talk to one on one in private, with no judgement that is meant to be a safe place. There they can help you work through the things you are struggling with. I know it can be scary, but perhaps this is something that can help balance things a little bit. If you express to your parents that you feel this could help you, maybe the’d be willing to set that up.
Dont be afraid to reach out to teachers and school counselors and principals for help if you need it. They can give you resources to guide you in the direction needed to healing. Even if they themselves can’t help, they can give you recommendations and referrals to the right place.
You are not alone my sweet friend. We are here to listen if you have nowhere else to turn to. This palce is built to be a safe place for everyone from all walks of life.
Heart Support also has a couple of books you could check out. One is called Dwarf Planet. Its a guide and workbook through depression. The other is called REWRITE. It is a guide and work book through self harm. Both of these can be found on Amazon. Or you can find them on the Heart Support shop if you cant buy them right now, where they will send you a free copy. Maybe these can be of help to you.
I hope things start feeling better my friend. And that you are able to find something that works for you. You are important and you matter. Your feelings ARE VALID. Despite how you may feel right now.
I also suffered from anxiety, I always get scared of every little things or even thoughts. I stopped going to uni because of it. I can relate how it feels to have anxiety and have no one to talk to. Whenever I have anxiety attacks in the morning, I always crave for a hug but I couldn’t ask my parents for it because I know that they are tired and I didn’t want to disturb their sleep. I didn’t want to be a burden to them and I absolutely don’t want them to hate me.
Your feelings are valid, you may feel like you are being dramatic but know that whatever you are feeling right now is valid and others wouldn’t be able to understand that because they haven’t experienced it themselves. Anxiety is real.