I feel like I’m disappointing everyone but I really am trying

Hi I’m a 17 year old female and I am in my senior year of high school . Throughout my three years of high school I feel like they were the worst parts of my life. At the end of my ninth grade year I was diagnosed with a chronic condition that makes me throw up whenever I eat. I lost 25 pounds through that and in my 10th grade year my family was struggling with finances and weren’t getting enough money. My dad bought a 50,000 dollar car so he can drive it with uber but put my family more into debt. In December of 2018 my mom had a stroke and was in the icu she recovers from it but couldn’t work due to it and then she had a second stroke in May of 2019 my dad didn’t live with us and I was alone with my little sister who’s 12 currently my sister suffered from mental illness and had to deal with her throughout the whole issues with my mom in the hospital. My mom had a right side stroke and had to re learn how to walk and speak and write . While she was in the hospital one of her kidney died and she suffers from chronic kidney disease . She was later admitted out the hospital in August and I had to take care of her and my little sister. Throughout my 3 years. Of high school I struggled with my grade due to family issues and my health. I failed on class but my gpa is at a 2.6 and I feel like I’ve been down this path of having such a miserable life and idk what to do or say anything about I have a tough time saying how I feel and tell people that I’m okay but I feel like I’m dying inside everyone telling me I’m strong and that I’ll great through it dosent help . I put everyone before me all the time and I feel like no ones really there for me I lost two close friends over the summer while my mom was fighting for her life and they weren’t there for me. My family expected me to be a top student like how I was in middle school but I ended up failing them and I’m just lost I have really bad stress and I think have a lot of anxiety but i never had it diagnosed with it . I just feel like I can’t breathe. I can’t afford to have a normal teenage life like other people but instead I had to be an adult because of my fathers mistakes and what he put my family through debt. I always knew what I wanted to do in life but idek what I want to do in life. I’m sorry if this post is long I tried to summarize what’s been going on in my life and sorry if it dosent make sense. I posted this to see if someone can give me some advice or that they knew what it feels being a parent to your entire family to depend on you.


Hi, friend. I’m going to start off by saying, I am so, so proud of you. You’ve made it so far. You’re doing so well!
So it sounds like you’ve been going through a lot, huh. I’m in grade 11 right now, except I’m currently out of school because of how hard it was on me, so I totally understand your struggles. You’re not alone there at all. I can see how desperately you’re trying to fit into this normal life, putting so much pressure on yourself to do better in school, to always be there for your family- but you were made for so much more than this “normal life”. It shouldn’t be a matter of just surviving each day of this life, you should be able to thrive! Have faith that you are capable of so much love and joy, and your struggles do not define you. We go through all of these things for a reason, yes, but I’m not here to talk about that reason. I know how hard it can be to hear “it’ll all turn out for the better” when things seem to be falling so badly apart. Because while that is true, thinking about that tends to make us feel like our struggles aren’t really relevant, and that we should just be strong and push forward. This isn’t true, though! We don’t have to be strong all the time, in fact, I believe in our hardest times, when we’re feeling so weak, that’s how we get to know love. So whenever you’re feeling weak, sad, alone, defenseless- know that that is where love finds you. And love is what will be there for you through these times, and forever onward. So hold onto love, friend! <3


Hey Zelle,
First of all, I’m so, so sorry that you’ve had to go through all of that. You didn’t deserve to have to experience so much grief and so much pressure at such a young age, and you didn’t deserve to have people leave you and have your father put so much emphasis on your grades when you were clearly going through a rough time, and I am so sorry that you’ve felt like you’ve had to hide all the pain you’ve been feeling all this time.

All that being said, I am so proud that you’re still here with us. The fact that you’re posting here shows that you are strong, and trying your hardest to grow, and learn, and heal. It’s okay that you’re not feeling okay. You shouldn’t have to be the adult because of your parent’s mistakes; it’s not your fault that any of this has happened. And you certainly have not failed anyone just because it’s been hard to keep your grades up among so many difficulties. Like you said in your post title: you really are trying, and we see that, and we are so proud of you for that.

I might not have concrete advice for what to do, but I empathize with your situation and having massive pressure put on you. I know it feels like no one is here for you, but there are people on this earth who haven’t met you yet who love you and want to be there for you. You can try, sometimes, to put yourself first (because that is not selfish, or failing your family, at all) and to prioritize staying strong and healing yourself. I know it’s hard, but things do get better-- slowly, but they do.

Most of all, don’t be too hard on yourself. You are not a failure. You are not disappointing anyone. You are staying strong and dealing with what life has given you. And that’s amazing, that’s brave, and you’re doing so well.

If you ever need anyone to talk to, we are all here for you. Much love.


Oh my. That is A LOT to have on your shoulders all withing such a short time period. I wish I had the perfect words to say, but it’s never that simple.

Sometimes life makes us grow faster and sooner than we want too, and growing usually hurts. I can’t even imaging trying to juggle school on top of all of this. Watching your parents and family struggle can be hard but never lose sight of the fact that YOU need some self love and care too. I don’t necessarily want to say that everything happens for a reason… but rather that everything can be used for good. All of this chaos is a part of your story. You are so young and this is all making you into a mature and empathetic human. Maybe we can’t see the silver lining right now… but someday you’ll be able to understand someone a little better and help them out because of everything you’ve been through.

As far as school… my advice would be to take your time if you need to. Talk to some teachers or school counselors and let them know the stress you are under and the anxiety. Let them help you on your education journey. You are not a disappointment or a failure. Your are doing so much and you are strong! Sometimes we get so focused on “keeping up” with our peers or being the top of the class, but remember that everyone has a different path. It’s ok if your education journey looks a little different, just don’t give up!

It’s okay to not know exactly what you want to do in life. Take your time. One day at a time if you need to. I’m proud of you for speaking up here and for sharing.