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I feel like I’m just a disappointment to everyone

This has just been a long lasting constant thought running in my mind. I feel as all I do is disappoint everyone including my own family. My family labels me as a “disappointment” and I don’t know how I can stop disappointing people. Should I change who I am or should I just drop off the face of the earth because I feel like I’m not wanted or loved by anyone anymore.

I know these emotions. I struggle with them a lot. Especially given that I have no connection to my family. So I often feel like I’m not good enough. I feel like a disappointment and a failure. So you are not alone.

It’s improtant that we don’t allow ourselves to believe these lies. And try our best to rise above them. For me, I had to distance myself from family and people who brought me down. People I know who were unhealthy for me. I know some people aren’t always in the position to be able to do that due to living situations. And in this case you just have to stay strong as hard as it is. Surround yourself with friends and groups of people that are supportive and encouraging of you. Let go of friends and people who are unhealthy.

You are important. I know you probably don’t feel like it when it feels like everyone is bringing you down. But you are. You are valued. And everything you feel is valid. I’ll tell you this over and over because it’s true.

I’m sorry people who should be loving you and encouraging you are dragging you down. That’s hard.

I’m sending you so much love. I hope you can find a safe place to go to. Like a counselor. A friend. A pastor. Whenever is comfortable. So they can help you through this. You don’t have to go at it alone. :heart:

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Hey Adam,

I’m sorry your family has labeled you as a disappointment. Know that that is a lie and you are most definitely not a disappointment. We love you for you and most definitely do not see you as a disappointment. I know it is hard to ignore those thoughts of not being good enough, especially when your family isn’t making the situation any easier. Despite that, know that you are loved by this community!

Hold Fast,
Hannah Rhodes

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@Adam787,

First off I am so sorry you are feeling like this. Thank you for sharing all of this with us. I legit have felt this way because let me just say that feeling like you are worthless is not okay. But let me say this that sometimes we need to know that truly that is not true our anxiety lies to us. we are not a disappointment.

Can I ask why your family so calls you a disappointment? Like what is it that you have disappointed them with? If you do not want to discuss it that is okay. But let me just say this that honestly that you are not a disappointment. You are well worth every inch of pure love that you have right here. You deserve the breath that is in your lungs that you taken in. I do not see you as a disappointment in anyway. I know that you may not know me but honestly you have breath in your lungs and no matter what you have done you are still a human and to me you still deserve respect. I am sorry others have made you feel like you are a disappointment.

I have personally had to deal with this. Honestly sometimes for me I legit had to start using the quote “whatever you say bounces off me and sticks too you” because I can not let what others say too me make me thing because I am not the disappointment my mind makes me think I am. Sometimes we need to not let our mind tell us what we are. I am sorry your struggling with this.

Hold fast
Disabledmetalfan

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@Adam787
Thank you for posting. I know this feeling all too well. People at school tell me the same thing. I’ve been told that I should just go away because I’m not good enough. I’ve been told that I do everything wrong and that I won’t accomplish anything in life. For a while I believed it because nobody told me otherwise. Then one day I had a friend come to me and say that all those things that they said are wrong. And guess what. I believe my friend that tells me I AM good enough. I get better grades than those bullies. I do more extra circulars than they do. I live my life doing things that I love because I don’t want to live up to the bar of not being good enough. My family doesn’t help me with any of that. They point out when I have bad grades, but never praise me for having good grades. My family is so fast at bashing me for the mistakes that I make, but don’t praise me for my accomplishments unless they’re huge. Good grades are expected of me. But I know what I can do. I know that I’m good enough. And I know that you are too.
Hold fast friend, you’re worth it.
~Sarah

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Ive felt this BIG TIME throughout my childhood as someone who had been struggling in school for a long time. I felt like a disappointment to my family because I felt I couldnt live up to my parents expectations of getting good grades and I had a very hard time keeping up with my school work. This led me down a very dark road with depression…

I’ve been feeling like this last week that I’m doing everything wrong. I know that my friends love me, but I can’t help feeling that I’m unintentionally awful. But I keep showing up despite how I’m feeling.

Never feel like a disappointment. I felt that way before and always thought that when I did something that was a “failure” that I was the first one to do that. Like when I dropped out of school for example. We can only learn from the choices and failures we make because they will make us better in the end. Surround yourself with the ones that will pick you up and dig you out of the hole you are in.

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Hey Adam,

I’ve definitely felt this way before. When I was failing out of college it was difficult to face my family and tell them what happened, so much so that I already felt like a disappointment before they even had the chance to talk to me about it. It took awhile, but after some time those feelings wore off and my family was proud of the life I had built for myself. You are not a disappointment. You are human and you will make mistakes and that’s okay. You can’t make everyone happy, but you can learn from your mistakes, tell people when they may have hurt you with their words or expectations and come out of it a better person.

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@Adam787

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I know exactly how you feel. I’ve been feeling like this for years. I’ve been sexually, mentally, physically and emotionally abused growing up. I had no one telling me that they loved me or that they cared about me. The persons that I trusted the most always end up letting me down. I turned to cutting, phyically fighing myself and once i tried hanging myself with a belt. It’s like everything i did wasnt enough. Depression is no joke, I’m still struggling with it but my 3 year old keeps reminding me everyday that there is a reason to live. Tho right now as I’m writing this with tears in my eyes, I don’t want to be here. I just want to be at peace.

I have felt the same way for most of my life dating back to about 8 years old. I am 52 now. It seems nothing that I do is good enough whether it is was in school or the workplace. It’s frustrating. Fortunately, I do have a pretty good support network outside of it. I hate to think where I would be today without it. And for that I am grateful. A couple of people have recently told me that all we can do is what we can, not to label that a success or failure or be so hard on ourselves or others. Makes sense although it can be hard to remember.