From paraf1nn_ttv_75429: i just want a partner but i cant get one. at this point i just need one i feel like but no one likes me back. i feel like i need to date someone.
1 Like
Hello Friend
Welcome to Heartsupport
Wanting to be with that special someone but struggling to meet them or anyone at all doesn’t sound like much of a problem until it becomes a problem, you would think will all of the people in the world, how difficult would it be to meet a few right? Wrong! It is not easy at all unless of course you are the most confident person you know who can happily walk up to anyone, talk about anything, entertain and delight everyone they meet?? That could be you but you didn’t say.
What is it that makes now the time to be in a relationship for you? Do you feel like something is missing or it is because you are seeing your friends moving in that direction?
It can be frustrating, disappointing and discouraging when you start looking for that special person and you get nothing back, it can make you feel like you are not good enough, not good looking enough, funny enough or worthy but just so that you know in advance, that is not the truth, it is all about learning, like everything else you have done in your life, Each time something happens and it goes a bit wrong, make a mental note of how and why, each time you will learn more about how what other people like and dislike and also what your preferences are when looking for someone because although you are ready to go, you do need to also have boundaries and certain behaviours that you will and wont accept.
There is a saying that there is someone out there for everyone, I don’t know if that is true, I think it probably is, I don’t think there is one specific person as we may not meet them but I think there is someone out there however if you come across too impatient you might scare them off so calm down, deep breath and start making mental notes. I have faith that in no time you will have a much better understanding of both what you want and what you are prepared to give and a beautiful relationship will be on the cards. Don’t give up. Lisa. X
I know the feeling of feeling the want and need to be loved by someone special. Someone who is closer than just a friend or a family member.
It’s scary to think about being alone without that kind of love, but I think that a lot of the time we think that it’ll fix this hole and longing inside us.
I know in the past when I have just craved this kind of love in my life it created this dependence relationship. I was depending on them to fulfil a role that only I could truely fill. It created an unequal balance of me needing something they couldn’t provide and me being dependant on them more than they could offer.
What I needed and what you deserve is something deeper than someone else to provide that for us. It’s so satisfying to have someone who come along side you and show you the love that you already have built up in yourself and be able to return that. It takes some time and work to be in a healthy place to be ready for a mature relationship, but it’s worth it when you know that you have the same value and the same worth whether or not you are in a relationship or not.
2 Likes
Hey there paraf1nn,
I totally get where you’re coming from.
There’s a lot that goes into finding a relationship, and it’s not something that happens overnight that’s for sure. One thing I will definitely advise though: be yourself! When I was first dating, I would try and change things about me to get more people to like me, and it made me feel miserable. After going through that for years I just decided screw it, i’m gonna be who i am and just see what happens. Sure it took a lot longer, but it worked.
I always say “your vibe attracts your tribe”. Being a good person, being able to be yourself, and having a positive attitude will bring those like minded people into your life. You never know what the future holds, just take it one day at a time. As @Lisalovesfeathers said, if something goes wrong, make a note of it. It’s all a learning experience.
You’ve got this friend <3
1 Like
Hi there,
Thank you for sharing. I know that sometimes waiting for a partner is hard and lonely, but maybe it will come when you least expect it. When it comes to someone sharing their feelings about someone who they like it might come a bit hard to open up, so maybe that person who likes you didn’t have the courage to tell you, or to show you. And it’s completely normal to need and want to date someone. We are humans and we need to love and be loved, but for that, sometimes i think we need to work on ourselves also. To learn to be pleased with ourselves and to try to love ourselves, even if it’s not easy, but in this way we can be confident enough, without waiting for someone else to tell us we are loved. I hope you the best and that you will get what you need!
2 Likes
From cypixelz: Tysm for this. This helped me a lot too 
1 Like
From cypixelz: Actually this whole thread did. Thank you to everyone
1 Like