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I feel like im a walking disaster

So I really hate myself. I feel like such a worthless person. I make everyone disappointed or angry. It really hurts that I make my parents feel bad because they’ve done so much for me, but I know I don’t deserve any of that. I most likely deserve everything bad that happens to me, because I do so many mistakes. Everything I do is wrong and I’m tired of that, I’m so tired of feeling like I’m not good enough. Everything just hurts so much. I feel like I’m just being stupid for feeling like this because there’s other people that have gone through worse things than I have. I probably sound so dumb typing all of this but i can’t speak about my problems with anyone because they don’t understand what I feel.

I’m just tired of feeling down all the time but I’ve tried all I could to make myself happy like find something to do like painting and things like that, but it’s like everything I do is just a temporary fix to my problems. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and I went to a therapist and psychiatrist. They put me on medication to try and help my anxiety and it helped but for a while. My depression is coming back and Im slowly being consumed by it.

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Hey there, I understand what you are going through cause I am going through the same thing myself. Before reading your post I didn’t think anyone else could feel like I do but it makes me feel a little less crazy. You are not worthless and you are not less of a person for making mistakes. Just because your problems don’t seem as big as other doesn’t mean they are any less important. The one thing that keeps me going is the people I love so surrounding yourself with people who care about you could help you day to day or if you let them in they can support you. Stay strong and don’t stop fighting <3

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Thank you so much, you made me feel so much better and I’m really glad I’m not alone.

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i really know how it feels like, My heart feels this so much and im proud that u posted about how youre feeling and all of your problem , and i hope i can help you, and please remind yourself " YOU’RE WORTHY ENOUGH TO BE LOVED EVEN ON YOUR HARD DAYS"
and please dont push yourself too hard , be yourself , do all the things that make you happy but in the positive way and find something that can distract yourself from all the problems , and i hope you will continue to let us be a help to you, even if we maybe dont have any good advice , at least let you know that youre not alone , and keep reaching out on here ,you dont have to carry this pain alone
lots of love , cathy

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@Notknown Hey friend, thank you for sharing all these difficult things you’re feeling. I want you to know that you aren’t alone in feeling this way, I feel these things often myself. I struggle so much with feeling that I’m not good enough, that there’s always something wrong with me, and that I deserve everything bad that happens to me in my life. And when I think about it, I don’t understand what I feel either.

I believe that why we aren’t able to understand what we’re feeling is because none of those thoughts or feelings are true. You and I are not worthless, we don’t deserve pain or being unhappy. We may make mistakes and do bad or hurtful things, but that doesn’t define who we are as people. We’re simply lost in those moments, and what we’re doing is trying to find our way back to love or happiness. Just because we FEEL one way doesn’t make it true. And it doesn’t matter if “other people that have gone through worse things than I have”, your problems matter to you and they need to be addressed just as much as anyone else’s.

You’ve been to a therapist and psychiatrist to address your depression and anxiety, did you stop? I would encourage you to go back, I went back to my therapist after months of dropping off the face of the Earth because I allowed myself to slip into a pattern of self-destructive behavior, and I would hate for you to go down a similar path. Also, the beauty of reaching out here is the resources available to you here: https://heartsupport.com/resources/

I would encourage you to check out any of those books and maybe see if you can apply their content to any of your current situation. You don’t have to be stuck in these feelings forever, you can rid yourself of them but it does take effort. Nothing worth having comes easy.

Here to encourage and support you friend, love you. Hold fast.

Hi friend.

I was listening on twitch.tv/heartsupport and my ears perked up when I heard the above quote… and then it ran into…

Wow… you are carrying a very heavy load.

I want you to know that you matter. YOU.

Even if you maliciously and intentionally messed stuff up, you still would NOT deserve everything bad that happens.

Today, I would like to ask you to do something. I realize that with a load that large that doing anything is difficult… so I do know that even asking for a small thing is a big deal, but this is really important.

I want you to spend at least 5 minutes doing something just for you. It could be a youtube video, twitch, sitting back and just really enjoying a piece of chocolate… something that you do for you to show yourself that you matter.

I would like you to put these 5 minutes on the calendar as a must do, top priority once a week… I do this on Monday with a community I am involved in. I believe it is a great place to start… If you feel inclined to also spend 5 minutes on other days of the week, that is awesome, but always do it on that one day… everything else is bonus, and you totally deserve the bonuses… but on your worse of worse weeks, it becomes so important to spend what little energy you can pull out of yourself on yourself.

I believe in you.

“I do so many mistakes. Everything I do is wrong” - this part i can relate to. I’ve been that guy who’s made so many mistakes and done things wrong in my life that I’ve constantly put myself down was too hard on myself when I shouldnt have been."

In 2011 I was involved in a fender bender (which I CAUSED). I remember coming home afterwards just drenched in bad thoughts where all I could think was “I caused this horrible thing, Im a horrible human being, I want to kill myself”

@Notknown Hold Fast. Here is our discussion about your topic with our friend @CocoConfession on Twitch.

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