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I feel like I'm drowning in this pain


#1

Each day has been getting progressively worse in my life. I feel like I am drowning in darkness and hopelessness right now. I am trying to pray and talk to God but I feel so distant. My depression and suicidal thoughts are increasing and it feels like I can’t escape this immense pain and turmoil. In this moment I can’t find a good reasons to exist. I really don’t know how to stay hopeful. I just got out of a meeting at work and all I have realized is that I have no skills, no motivation, and nothing to offer anyone.

Seriously, I don’t get it. How can I be so pathetic and worthless? I am 32 years old and I feel like I have nothing to show for my life. It feels like people around me are moving forward with life but I am just a pathetic, below average person. What’s the point? I am trying so hard to listen to God and follow the path He has for me but all I feel right now is pain and darkness. I just feel empty. I feel like I have nothing to give. I don’t know. I just don’t know. If anybody has any advice or help to offer, I would appreciate it. I am just struggling to get out of this dark place.


#2

You are not worthless or pathetic. I have been distant with my relationship with God. I always felt abandoned and never felt the hand/presence of God, and through someone I was trying to rebuild that connection. I struggle every day with it. It’s very hard for me. You will find what is meant for you. You just have to believe in your faith. And you will find what you are meant to do.


#3

Thank you @Enkou666, I appreciate it. It’s definitely hard trying to stay hopeful and positive. Some days it’s easier but most days it’s so tough to crawl out of the dark pit.


#4

No worries @HoldOntoHope24 it’s why we are here. To help each other. It’ll be hard. The path to recovery is never easy. But, it does get easier. Slowly and surely. You will always have low days. But, live for the good days. That’s what’s worth it.


#5

Hi Friend,
I so feel your pain. I’m 34 and I feel like I don’t have a lot to show for myself. I recently went through a divorce that left me with barely anything at all, I can’t hold myself afloat alone let alone show case much for my age and where I should be in life. Like you I feel like I don’t have much to offer or a lot of skill to share. So you are not alone.

But something we have to remember is, we are not pathetic. It’s okay to feel down. It’s okay to feel lost and confused. And it’s okay to feel empty. We all have our down days and struggles in life, but it’s important that we keep on fighting.

I’ll be honest, Some days I don’t know how. I spend so much time trying to be positive, to help others, to make healthy changes in my life, to focus on good things…and sometimes it feels like I’m still stuck

I try to set goals. What are some things you want in your life? What are some things that make you happy and you’d like to see happen or see yourself have? And what are some small goals that you can set for yourself to make those things happen? What are some things you can do, work on or change to push towards those things? Start there. It can be hard but that’s why we start to work on small realistic achievable goals. One thing at a time to work towards that bigger picture.

I hope you are able to find the strength and courage to fight. To reach for the things that will bring you healing and comfort. You don’t have to go at it alone. We’re here to support you along the way.

I’m sorry you are hurting. It can get better. Even I know this. Even on days it doesn’t feel like it.

Hold fast my friend

  • Kitty

#6

Kitty,

Thank you so much for your encouragement and support. Your words really meant a lot. I woke up this morning and read your message and it really helped me to start my day a little bit brighter. Thank you! Your advice about setting small goals and taking small steps each day was really motivating. I am pretty bad at making goals but the way you spoke about it helped me to think more clearly.

I am sorry you are hurting from your divorce. While I have not gone through that, I am sure it takes a major toll physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. How have you helped to take care of yourself during this challenging time? You are incredibly courageous to fight everyday to stay strong. It’s certainly inspiring to me.

I am here for you as well if you ever need to talk about your struggles with your suffering and pain. It’s hard on the darkest of days to feel very alone but this community is one of the best things I have found because of people like you encouraging and loving everyone here.

I hope that you have a beautiful day and thank you again :slight_smile:

  • Geoffrey