Each day has been getting progressively worse in my life. I feel like I am drowning in darkness and hopelessness right now. I am trying to pray and talk to God but I feel so distant. My depression and suicidal thoughts are increasing and it feels like I can’t escape this immense pain and turmoil. In this moment I can’t find a good reasons to exist. I really don’t know how to stay hopeful. I just got out of a meeting at work and all I have realized is that I have no skills, no motivation, and nothing to offer anyone.
Seriously, I don’t get it. How can I be so pathetic and worthless? I am 32 years old and I feel like I have nothing to show for my life. It feels like people around me are moving forward with life but I am just a pathetic, below average person. What’s the point? I am trying so hard to listen to God and follow the path He has for me but all I feel right now is pain and darkness. I just feel empty. I feel like I have nothing to give. I don’t know. I just don’t know. If anybody has any advice or help to offer, I would appreciate it. I am just struggling to get out of this dark place.