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I feel like I'm losing it

I’m so tired of being depressed about my anxiety, and anxious about my depression. Every day feels the same, and I don’t know what I could be doing to make it better. The depression is crippling, I wake up and force myself to get out of bed, but the whole time I’m fixated on this thought of whats the point? Its seems like the only feelings I feel are apathy or fear. I try to tell myself that if I can get over the anxiety enough to get back to work it will help, but the depression tells me theres no point and I won’t be happy. I’m constantly focused on the fact I’m going to die eventually, and I just don’t know what to do.

Thanks for sharing what’s going on. You explained things really well and how it can be a nasty cycle. In my way, I’ve gone through something similar and like you referenced it can be hard to get out of bed in the morning. I know it’s not a huge thing but it helped me to look at smaller steps. Like on day’s where I just wanted to stay in bed all day with the blinds down, I tried to do just something I’d enjoy. Like for me watching a favorite show or going to a coffee shop I really liked. It was nothing huge but little things to look forward to that allowed me to build off of it. I think you make a great point when you said “he depression tells me theres no point and I won’t be happy” because that is the depression but not you as your way more then the depression.

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I Don’t Know What Kind Of Music You Like, But I Hope You Can Find some Comfort In Those.

And These Quotes From Bruce Lee.

“Flow in the living moment.
We are always in the process of becoming and nothing is fixed.
Have no rigid system in you, and you’ll be flexible to change with the ever changing.
Open yourself and flow my friend.
Flow in the total openness of the living moment.
If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclosure themselves.
Moving, be like water. Still, be like a mirror.
Respond like an echo.”

“Listen. Can you hear the wind?
And can you hear the birds singing?
You have to hear it.
Empty your mind.
You know how water fills a cup?
It becomes the cup.
You have to think about nothing.
You have to become nothing.”

“The method for health promotion is based on water, as flowing water never grows stale.
The idea is to not overdevelop or to overexert, but to normalize the function of the body.”

"And you have to train, you have to keep your reflexes so that when you want it, it is there.
When you want to move, you’re moving.
And when you move, you’re determined to move, not taking one inch, not anything less than that.
If I want to punch, I’m gonna do it man, you see?
And that is the type of thing that you have to train yourself into.
To become one with the “snaps fingers”
Ever Present NOW

He believed in reading copious amounts and repetitious training in the extreme.
But how do this ideas gel with the idea of being free and flowing?
Is exerting your will and learning a set knowledge not a contradiction to being able to adapt and go with the flow?
Not entirely.
If you think of yourself as a crucial part of nature, that your will is something that exists within, and that simply needs to be expressed, then going with the flow means going with your own nature, being true to who you are, and working in harmony with your circumstances to express that true self to the fullest.
Knowledge and repetition are simply tools that can be used to help you fulfill your own purpose, and should not be seen as absolute truths. And should not be allowed to guide or mold you into a different person.
As Bruce would say,
“All types of knowledge ultimately means self knowledge”

And That Knowledge Will And Can Give You The Means To Wake Up Everyday And Not Only Be Grateful To Be Alive, But Allow You To Make Yourself And The World Better.

Much Love To You My Friend! Hugz!

Thank You For Sharing Your Thoughts.

“The Best View Comes After The Hardest Climb”

Conquer Your Mountain My Friend.
Stand At The Top With Gratitude, Love And Peace.
Breath In The Fresh Air
And Share With Us The View You Know To Be True During Your Climb!