Almost a month ago I lost a good friend to a drug overdose and I feel as it was my fault. Let’s just start this off with about 4 years ago I was with him and jokingly said you should hit this cigarette and he did which I didn’t expect him too and the next thing I know a year down the road he’s hanging out with the wrong group of people and doing coke and heroin along with many other drugs. I tried to pull him out of that lifestyle and I did for a little bit but he went right back into it. Fast forward to this year he’s involved with illegal stuff and has been to jail multiple time and is very heavily into drugs and dealing them. Then the night of June 17th rolls around and I get a call and it’s the call I hoped I would never get as soon as I heard the news I collapsed to my knees and just was so angry, sad, confused and lost. I just feel like this is all my fault and feel guilty about this all.
hi , this isnt your fault, you didnt know this will happen. this is NOT your fault you tried your best to help him … sorry this happened to you . hold fast .
I am so sorry about your friend. It breaks my heart. I know it’s hard to believe anything else but it’s not your fault. Your friend wouldn’t want you to suffer with guilt and what you could have done. You tried but you can lead a horse to water but can’t force it to drink. Your friend made choices that you couldn’t have stopped even if you wanted. Sometimes we don’t get to know why things happen but allowing it to control our lives takes away our ability to live. I know it’s easier said than done. I’m working through my own guilt with my brother and I don’t have answers yet but all I know is I have to trust that there is some hope in it all or it will completely spiral. I am sorry you are carrying so much pain and I hope from the bottom of my heart that you can find some peace and get to a place of letting go of what isn’t yours to carry even if it takes time. I hope the grief will lesson with time. My heart hurts for you. I know kind of what it’s like to carry this guilt even though I haven’t lost anyone. It’s a lot but you don’t have to carry it alone.
This is not your fault! He was his own person who made his own choices, you know? You had no control over things he decided to do or the people he hung out with.
It is incredibly sad what happened to him. Heart breaking. He didn’t deserve to have that happen to him. It seriously sucks what drugs can do. ): But you cant take the blame for that. You obviously cared for him very much.
I’m so sorry you lost your friend. I know nothing I can say can stop that pain. But please don’t put the weight of that guilt on your shoulders. It isn’t fair to you.
So much love to you.
-Kitty