Recently I’ve only really been in 2 different situations… Feeling extremely low to the point suicide feels like my only way out, or literally feeling nothing at all.
When the numbness comes it’s so empty, but in a way that I want to cut so I can actually make myself feel something… I don’t get enjoyment out of anything… Things I used to get joy from for hours and hours even. Games, playing with my dogs… even music doesn’t do a whole lot, which is insane because music has never failed me… When I’m feeling overwhelmed in my lows, I’m usually able to do some writing and reach out, but during these periods, I can’t do anything. It’s like my life and energy has literally all been sucked away. But in the same breath, I can’t just sleep and hide from it… Even if I did, it never usually helps much. How do you get through those moments that even trying to sleep feels like too much? I know cutting isn’t the answer, but honestly, tonight, I can’t help but think it’s the only I’ll start to feel again… Is my self harm relapse the reason this is even happening?
Hey friend, it’s completely ok to feel like that. Sometimes even our favorite hobbies fail to entertain us, and it’s ok.
Feeling numb is part of it: you start being bored by everything, but try to change your perspective: maybe it’s time to find something new! Beginnings always hide themselves in ends, and this could be the case. Try to do one thing a day you always wanted to do, but never did (even a stupid one): you’ll soon find something fresher than gaming and music. Ive been there and it’s been the worst when I found out I was bored with video games, but now I can go a whole week (more actually) without even touching a controller and I’m completely fine with that.
I believe you’re just bored. In my house, we say that when you’re bored, it’s because you are boring. Don’t take this as an insult - it isn’t. You just need to find something new.
See that’s the thing. Every other day games and music is something I enjoy. It’s just… in these moments of numbness, I have no energy to do anything. Even breathing feels like a chore.
Hey friend, first I just want to say that I love you, and I’m sorry for all those things I said to you when I was hurting, I didn’t mean any of it. And I love you so freaking much despite the past that we had.
You have been through a lot in life, but I also know that it has made you stronger, and you have been an encouragement to so many people in your life including me. I love you and so does this community. Please don’t give up friend <3
I don’t know the words to say to make your pain go away, because I more so know that no words I will say will help. But I do encourage you to reach out to your support group, reach out to your sponsor, and remember that for you isolating is not the answer, and will only make things worse.
People have mentioned finding new hobbies, and that’s a good option too. Continue finding something active to do, like going for walks, or doing stuff with your hands such as baking or drawing etc.
Always remember that we will love you and always be here for you! Keep your head up friend, and if you ever need anything you know how to get a hold of me!
