Some days are just so hard and I am just so drained. And it’s not even from my baby. I am drained because of his father and his father’s mom. I haven’t denied visitation, I have welcomed it and they keep saying and telling their lawyer that I am denying it. I first offered it at my place and they said no, they wanted it at my ex’s mom’s and I said I am not comfortable with that because of abuse at her house. My ex then said he wanted it at his house (we used to live there together but I paid for it all while living there) I said no to that as well because of him abusing me and he wouldn’t allow me to bring along someone so I’d feel comfortable. Then when things started going through lawyers I said we should figure out going to a visitation center and then they ignored that and their lawyer said I am being unreasonable and need to make a compromise. On top of that their lawyer said that I had post partum depression (when I didn’t) and that I had baggage from past relationships (I was only in one relationship prior) while his client had no issues. They make me feel so guilty at times. I just want my son to be safe that’s all and I have to get things together by Thursday of times my ex abused me and stuff about his mom too and it’s just too much I am drained.
Hi there @Boots,
Thank you for sharing with us. That stinks and I saw your post last week about another part of this same incident! It sounds absolutely exhausting to be continuing to deal with the stress of all this.
In terms of what your ex’s lawyers said, please keep in mind that their lawyers represent them, not you. While it isn’t nice to you, their job is to get what their clients (your ex and your ex’s mom) want. Due to this, even if you are being reasonable, they are very likely going to try taking a stance that is negative towards you, especially because it sounds like custody is on the table. Try not to take their remarks personally as they don’t necessarily believe what they are saying. Similarly, their lawyer isn’t a doctor and can’t “diagnose” you; their lawyer’s job is to “fight” you, whether we like that or not.
With that said, this is such a challenging experience to be going through; have you considered seeking therapy to help you through it (either temporary or long-term)? I believe you’ve had counseling in the past, so that may be helpful if it’s been a positive experience? You deserve to be happy and have support throughout this situation.
Everything you’ve described sounds incredibly tough and I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through this. I hope this situation comes to a positive resolution in the near future.
You’re a good parent and I’m glad that you’re sharing with us. Thank you for taking care of your son and for sharing with us.
hey boots, I’m really proud of you for sharing your experience with us, I know it must be at times frightening with all this going on. As tuna has said, their lawyer is trying to do what they can to “win” for their client. It’s not a nice way of going about it, but I do hope you also have a lawyer who you can talk to about all this. Take the pressure off you. I wish people could play fair and be decent for the sake of doing what’s right. You’ve stood your ground and I commend you on that, you shouldn’t have to place yourself or your child in an unsafe environment to appease someone, how is that compromise? You extended a compromise and it was declined. I know I can’t give any advice on how to approach this from a legal stand point, but I do want to encourage you because it does seem like you’re doing the right things. This is a heavy weight to hold, and I hope it doesn’t feel like you’re doing so alone
thank you for sharing this with us. i am so sorry for you that you have to go through this, since last week,
its getting in a bad direction from their side.
like Tuna said, their lawyers do what their customers want. what they want you to be seen by them. they will
always try to get the worst possible image of yourself. but you are not that. you have done everything right, as far
as i can tell to this point, and i can totally understand how you feel.
you mentioned last week, that you also have a lawyer. i think maybe you should discuss the things with him and
try to communicate over him with them. don’t let them pull you down. you deserve so much better than that.
also the lawyer can’t diagnose you, i think that if they want they can only consult a therapist or something.
don’t think about that.
you do all the best for your child and you are worth of so much more. you are loved, by your family and your child.
by your friends and we are here for you anytime you need something. we have your back here ! stay strong and
you will do great. feel hugged
Hi there @Boots,
I wanted to check in because I know that these challenges have been going on for a little while and are so tough! It also sounds like last Thursday may have been a important (and likely hard) day. How are you feeling now?
Know that you’re always valued here and we’re glad to have you in the community. Please don’t hesitate to reach out or make a new post if anything is on your mind; we’re here for you.
Hey! I’ve been thinking about you and this post! How are things going now? Remember: Its ok not to be ok. And Of Course, You can always come back and tell me and Egartuna what is on you’re mind. You’re Not Alone!
- Dan (American Airlines)
Im so friggin tired. Ive barely slept in a week and its like wheres help when you need it. Tomorrow i have a 5 hour shift and Friday i have a 6 hour shift. I work in customer service and it sucks. Were completely short staffed and i feel like everything’s always on me. Im the loyal worker but its like they dont care. Im tired of it. Im tired of the disrespect and the hate i get from these customers. They wanna complain over every little thing out of my control… and its not my fault. Im only the cashier. Im not the manager. I dont control prices i dont control sales i dont control everything and im tired of them complaining over every thing. Like literally… talk to the manager. Not me! And they hold up my already long line and it makes everything so much harder. It being the holiday season and were completely short staffed doesnt help. But its like where is anyone when i need help. Like nowhere to be found i literally couldnt do anything today. Couldnt brush out my hair or do my teeth or anything. I didnt even change. I went to my appointment the way i slept in… it sucks
Im so friggin tired and not the tired sleep can fix
Hey Panda, I know it can be hard. But hey you have Christmas off. Right? and even then, you can quit and take a break from customer service. There are always options! and again you can always come back!
Currently I am doing somewhat okay, just very anxious. I brushed off what his lawyer said because it’s not true and I have lots of evidence to back it up. I even have doctor’s and my therapist vouching for me. My lawyer and I responded to a different email they sent and now I’m just waiting for a response. For them to respond, sometimes it’s a week or sometimes a few. So I’m just kinda anxious waiting. I know whatever they say, it won’t be nice, I expect it, but it still doesn’t feel great to read.
Hey @Boots, Good thing your doing better, and yeah, it wont be nice. Good Job! Im proud of you for Reaching out again. Thanks
Thursday was a hard day, I had to write a lot, as much as I could remember about what my ex has done and some things his mom has done too. Once I had that done, my lawyer and I wrote a response to their latest email and now we’re just waiting for a response. I have a feeling it’ll be negative once again but I am just trying to keep my head up and remember what they have said isn’t true or it has nothing to do with the case as well as it just makes them look bad. It’s hard to remember though at times. My ex conditioned me to think certain ways while I was with him so my self confidence is very low still. Slowly working on getting it back up.
Thank you for the update. That sounds like Thursday was really rough, but I’m glad that you were able to persevere though that with your lawyer.
I’m also glad that you can recognize that what your ex/his mom/his lawyer(s) are not on your side and unfortunately may misconstrue the facts is a way that hurts you. Please don’t hesitate to reach out here if there’s more on your mind in that regard or if you feel hurt by the upcoming reply (or if the anticipation is causing stress).
I’m also glad that you’re (slowly but surely) rebuilding your confidence. You’re a great parent and a valued member of this community. Thank you again for your replies.