I feel so stupid

The title is a little bit misleading but I seriously feel stupid and no one seems to understand how I feel.

I had seriously bad car accident in March. I was driving and one of my wheels decided to go off and I lost control of the car. I managed to keep the car on track for a few seconds, but the speed was too high to actually work it out: I feel off a 20m cliff, but I managed to make it out alive and unwound (don’t ask me why, this is totally God’s work here).
After getting out of the hospital, I felt a tremendously uncontrollable feeling of starting racing driving. And that’s what I did.

Few months later, I can drive and control a sports car pretty well, without all the stuff that road cars have (TCS, ABS, etc). However, I feel completely out of place when driving on normal roads.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those guys who do stupid driving on the roads. Every driver thinks that those people are dumb. I just can’t drive as good as I drive on a Porsche, or a BMW.

What can I do? Everyone around me says I’m just stupid.

Send help!

Dude you’re not stupid at all…

You had a traumatic experience – where literally God only knows how you’re still alive.

When you experience trauma, people have different reactions…trauma typically imprints a fear of that same circumstance happening again…like, I know if I were you, I’d be freaking TERRIFIED of losing control of my car again…like, so insane…

For YOU, you decided to subconsciously lean INTO that fear and try to regain control…to go and train, to learn how to handle a car when you feel out of control, to master a car at high speeds in dangerous circumstances…you wanted to make sure you’d be prepared to handle it if you were ever in that situation again…and when you go back on “normal roads” – it’s far scarier, because you’re at risk of something happening you can’t predict (IE your wheel falling off), and so you don’t have as much control, whereas on a race track, you get to decide how “out of control” you get and when and where and what happens when you do…

What I’m guessing you’re experiencing is the residual imprint of the trauma, bro, and that makes you…COMPLETELY NORMAL.

I’m so sorry that happened to you, bro. I know this for sure though: you’re not crazy, and you’re certainly not stupid.


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Thanks for your reply Nate.

I remember one famous driver (I don’t remember precisely who) once said you never recover from a bad accident completely.

The main reason I feel so dumb is that I feel natural when on a sports car. The moment I get into a corner, it feels like walking to me. Once I get my hands on the wheel of my everyday car though, its like I’m completely out of place. Like you said, roads are way more riskier than race tracks. Also, you’re not fully covered in a racing suit+helmet. The whole thing is driving (lol) me insane!

I hope to get the same confidence I have on track on the roads too. I really want to drive: girls do like that!

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Hey @frapioggia - I’m so sorry to hear that you has some misfortune with your cars! Don’t listen to what other people are saying. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone. We’re all human. The best we can do is just to pick ourselves back up and learn from our experiences!

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Thanks Eric. I still have a lot to learn, but it’s not easy when everyone’s always bad words for you.

Hi friend,
you are not dumb or stupid for feeling like that. It’s understandable! We all have different feelings about different things. Maybe its just a matter of getting used to the normal roads again. Little by little things maybe you’ll start to feel more in place and comfortable driving on them. Just be safe! and know Gods got you :slight_smile:

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Love the pun, hahaha. Cheers, man. You’re doing great.

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Hey friend! Although I can’t say that I’ve been in your shoes, I just want you to know that you’re not alone, crazy, stupid etc. You are reacting to the situation in the way that you feel is best, and the way you know how. Nate and I actually had a conversation about this in the past. You’re reacting in a way you know best, and it’s the way you know how to cope.

I would definitely say with the trauma you faced it makes sense your struggle to go and try to drive on the roads again, and I’m sorry that you’re there! But know you’re not alone and we are here for you. Hold fast friend!

Hold Fast, You’re Loved,

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Thanks to everyone who replied. I also had a bad day at work today and your messages really got me.

I love you

Yeah… I think I understand what you are doing.
You had a trauma. You lost control of your car, basically your life, and right now you are trying to get control back at the risk of killing yourself. And at the same time you probably had the thrill of your life, adrenaline pumping, so much energy that you could run for days, and you are likely to try and get that feeling of being that ‘awake’ back.

My advice is to take a step back. Tearing up the tarmac is great fun, but it won’t help you in actual, real life, the normal road. But there are plenty of things you can do that give you that thrill AND teach you to get control in life again. There are courses like ‘What to do when your car goes into the water’, ‘handbreak breaking on wet pavement’, ‘how to actually roll your car and survive’… stuff like that.

It might just be that you accidentally stumbled on a new hobby and the realisation that you’re a good racetrack driver, but you disassociation, feeling out of place on normal roads, with regular traffic has me worried.

Here’s an idea: go talk to race-car drivers. They drive like you, maybe they know more. :slight_smile:

I wish I could say ‘you are not alone’ but I’d be lying, and quite honestly I am kinda jealous of your high-speeding. I miss my adrenaline spikes. Just stay safe, OK?
And if it’s just an issue of you feeling safer on the road with TCS, ABS etc. then I’m sure there are regular road-cars out there that have that.

Stay alive, friend.

Martin / ThatOldDutchGuy


Hi friend, thanks for replying!

Yeah, driving on circuits is very different from driving on regular roads, and the first thing they teach you is that there’s no point in going that fast with a road car. Those courses you mentioned were part of the program fortunately, and they really help a lot.

I concentrated more on road driving in the last few days and I feel less confused: I believe it was just scary to go back into traffic again, but I feel more confident now. Also other racing drivers told me they prefer not to drive on regular roads because they feel the same.

Safety always comes first: no way I’m trying to go over 100km/h on a regular car (there’s no actual need and my car won’t handle the speed). ABS and TCS are still annoying, but not that much of a problem.

P.s.: your username is great!