I Feel Unsafe in My Neighborhood

I really wanted to have my next post be a progress-themed one since I have been trying to take what others have said to me on this site to heart so as to better rethink how I have been viewing myself and how much control I truly have over my situation. However, my fear of being judged to an extreme extent by those outside of my abusive family – my neighbors, in this case – was seemingly confirmed today.

What happened is that I decided to confront a neighbor who, at multiple points in the past, too, allowed their dog to wander outside without them knowing and almost get hit by a vehicle. Our conversation today involved me being concerned about the dog’s well-being, and them saying that if I feel so strongly about it again I can call the police or animal control (which I have done before to no avail), only to then say that they are considering putting up an electric fence (which, I feel I should add, could harm their dog AND their children). Not only that, but they also attempted to transition to talking about a tree in my abusive family’s backyard that apparently poses a risk to their fence, showcasing how they care more about money than they do the well-being of others. The conversation ended when their children started to angrily tell me to mind my own business, the door being closed, me walking away and being told to do the same thing out of a window, and me telling them all to be better owners.

I then went to another neighbor’s house, thinking that I have a good enough rapport with them to ask them to talk to the negligent neighbor themself if they see further instances of negligence because I only have so much power as one person. Sadly, after I asked if I could come inside to talk to them (due to how the children of the negligent neighbor were outside and could have eavesdropped on my conversatrion), they opened the garage door and got another member of their household to talk to me instead. While my conversation with them went about as well as it could have with them being understanding of what I was saying, the fact that someone else was called to discuss things with me gave me the impression that I was viewed as a no-good gossip or a threat to either others themselves or their reputations.

I feel as though that, because I tried to do the right thing, I now have more of a target on my back than ever before, all without access to mental health services such as therapy as a result of a lack of privacy, resources, and many establishments, as well as during a recent instance of my family uncomfortably trying to give me a framed picture pertaining to a high-school performance I was in as a gift.

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hey friend,

if your neighbors won’t say this then i will: thank you for caring for that dog and their well-being. people’s reactions to confrontation or realizing their downfalls will always get mixed results, most of the time becoming defensive/offensive. unfortunately, your neighbors became defensive and angry - which shouldn’t be the default stance to take when someone requests to care for an animal, especially if that animal is your own. i’m so sorry you have to face these feelings from your neighbors while also shouldering the abuse of your family. standing up for what’s right shouldn’t put a target on anyone’s back. i hope you can continue to protect yourself and doing what you can to the best of your ability (getting animal control to respond). i value and appreciate your heart, my friend. thank you for making this world as good of a place as we can all collectively make it even when others try to knock us down. hope to hear from you soon but until then, you’ll be in my thoughts and best wishes.

love,
twix

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Hello,

Thank you so much for your support. While you may get that a lot, reading it really has helped me feel a lightness in my heart in these difficult times that have weighed down on me, especially now that I have made a non-anonymous report to the police in regards to a leash ordinance (animal control cannot help out with this all, apparently) and am waiting until I can get a copy of it, as well as to see both if anything will come from it and if I will have to do more.

Best,

Anonymous

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Hello,

Since you previously said that you wanted to hear from me, I presume that you would like to know about what is going on in regards to this situation now.

After receiving a copy of that aforementioned report, I found out that it could not be acted on since I did not provide enough information for the information from my prior call to be found and connected to it. As a result of this, I contacted the reporting officer for said prior call, and they said that the owner, who they have sympathy for as a dog owner, would not be charged with the leash ordinance I believed they were in violation of since their dog was accidentally let out by a construction worker working on their house. Throughout the conversation in which that reporting officer explained this all to me, they tried to frame me as someone who wanted to have the owner in question be charged… which, of course I did since they have let their dog out of their house without knowing multiple times and been dismissive of others’ concerns for their dog, all of which are red flags that call their dog’s safety into question. However, if I admitted to that directly, said officer would have deligtimized my concerns by viewing them as an excuse to indulge in a pursuit of pettiness. They also attempted to do this by baiting me into a question that asked if I wanted to have said owner charged, only to then say that that is not how ordinance enforcements work; by asking if I own a dog, implying that I do not know enough about owning one to comment on any of this; and by asking me a “What if you did this?” question that I played along with to not seem unreasonable. So, this call not only frustrated me to no end since the owner would not be held accountable for letting this happen multiple times and, thus, be compelled to take better care of their dog (as well as since I felt forced to lie, even though doing so makes me question who I am), but it also disappointed me because the dog in question may not be safer than before this recent incident began.

Best,

Anonymous

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Oh my gosh that is so frustrating I’m so sorry that they spoke to you so rudely on the phone. I know here people call local laws if there is concerns for a dogs safety and they come pick them up and the owner usually pays a fee to get them back and then discuss that if they can’t contain their dog safely fines will a usually apply.

It’s so frustrating that people have animals and don’t know how to provide appropriate care for them. You have done such a kind thing to look after it and try to ensure it’s safety.

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hey anonymous!

thank you for the update on this situation and how you’re doing. as i said last week, thank you for giving this your all in order to protect this dog. i’d be disappointed and frustrated as well if i was in your shoes. from what you’ve shared here, it sounds like you’ve done all you possibly can to protect yourself and the dog. if you happen to spot any further neglectful actions of your neighbor, record it and keep it for future evidence. but for now, find comfort in the fact that you fought as hard as you could and did your absolute best. even if there weren’t any official charges made, the report logs will always be maintained in the official records of your police department. i can’t stress enough how admirable that is. now it’s your turn to look out for yourself. i hope you can do some self-care in the near future to decompress from those calls to the reporting officer and conversations with the neighbors. thank you again for fighting for the dog and having a good heart.

love,
twix

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Hello @Anonymous_User1

Thank you for trying your best to make sure the dog was being taken care of. It must have been very frustrating that the owners weren’t making sure it’s kept inside. It’s really hard for me and I’m sure a lot of people to comprehend how some people just have no clue how to care for their animals. I hope that the situation has a good ending and that the dog is safe.

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Hello, Anon! I would like to echo Twix in saying thank you for caring about the safety of the dog.

I grew up in the forest and most dogs out there are free range and are not restrained. It is common but when the dogs aren’t smart and go to the road the owners keep them contained until they prove they are not going to go to the road. If someone wants their dog to be free they need to make sure they are still safe and it sounds like these people are not doing this.

I’m sorry that animal control is not helping you in protecting this dog. The best I could say if you want to try continuing protecting the dog is to put up a sign that says something like, “Loose dog lives in area. Please drive safely”. Beyond that it sounds like this is something that is beyond your control. I commend you for wanting to keep the sweet pupper safe but please do not let it stress you out overly much. Unfortunately some people who own dogs, shouldn’t and we often cannot do much to help them. I hope that the dog remains safe. And I hope that you can keep its potential fate from troubling you too much. You are a kind and caring person. Keep that up :hrtlegolove:

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Thank you for putting all this effort into helping your neighbor’s dog. It’s tough to hear that you haven’t been able to make any progress to help this dog, despite your best efforts, and unfortunately, it sounds like there’s not much you can do at the moment, which is so frustrating and tough.

I hope your neighbors are able to install a fence or at least keep an eye on their dog so that the dog doesn’t continue getting into dangerous situations in the future.

Thank you for the update and for sharing with us.

<3 Tuna

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That’s the thing: The neighbors have had a fence, and their dog still has gotten out.

Nevertheless, thank you for your message.

Best,

Anonymous