I feel utterly useless

I’m spiralling so much again lately lol

just, what happened?? i used to be so good at being there for my friends and now i just stare at my screen and wonder “how do you comfort someone?”
i’m at loss of words in so many ways and it makes me feel useless. so useless.


Dear friend,

You are not useless. The situation makes you feel powerless, but it doesn’t say anything about your worth, as a human being. Actually, the very fact that you care about your friends and are upset for being at loss of words shows how loving and big your heart is.

Whenever I feel at loss of words when I try to support someone, it’s often the sign that whether 1/ There’s too much going on in my life already; 2/ I’m emotionally drained/exhausted. In both cases, it’s often a warning to me that I need to step back a little and focus more on myself. It’s hard to do it sometimes because I still really want to help, but I try to focus on the fact that by helping myself, I’m also helping others. Because I’ll be more energized and at peace, not overwhelmed and tired.

Sometimes helping someone is overwhelming. It’s okay to acknowledge it, it’s okay to say it, and it’s okay to step away for a little bit. We’re just human beings, and our energy is limited. :hrtlegolove:


As I recall, you were profoundly drained from being there for your friends so much. You shouldered their burdens, and they gave you nothing in return. It was incredibly strong and kind of you, but it was wearing you down. So you stepped back and focused on self care. That’s okay, you can’t give anyone anything if you have nothing left to give.

Right now, you also have your own problems to work out and your own stress to deal with. You released the strain of being there for your friends, and are now trying to navigate issues that still require all your strength. That doesn’t make you a bad person. The fact that you’re posting this topic shows that you are not selfish, that you do care. You haven’t turned your back on your friends, but now is a season where you need to focus on yourself so you can be strong enough to help people in need.

Part of self care is leaning on others for support, like your friends leaned on you for so long. You’ve done that here. You’ve unpacked a lot of garbage on here, and have started to process that with us. I know you’re still hurting, but the longer you’ve been on here, the better you’ve been able to articulate your pain. You’re understanding yourself. You’re growing and healing. You may not be able to see it while you’re in the middle of it, but I’ve noticed. You’re getting the poison out. Even though you’re still hurting, you’re getting stronger, and you can use that strength to help people in the long run.


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