I feel worthless like as if I am the disappointment in my family

I’m the most useless screw up in my family.
Everyone loves them and they always do successful things to make my mom proud.
I’m always the one that screws up and is immature. My mom has always had to waste time on me being a dumb screwup.
My siblings make wonderful grades and I can barely make C’s and B’s.
Socially, they all can easily connected to their opposite gender (not necessary dating) but for me I just can’t, they always go to social events and have fun, I’m the one that is wrong socially and makes enemies becomes the target to be treated as less then in the group.
Today I couldn’t even be good at telling directions to go somewhere from my phone. I was messing up so bad my brother who was driving snapped at me for screwing up (which I did deserve) and took the phone while he was driving to see the directions. He almost ran a red light because of that causing a reck for two of my brothers. My mom tries to tell me that I’m good, but we all know the truth, she has 4 good kids and one (me) who isn’t at there level.
Every-time I think I am starting to get there and be like them there is always something waiting for me right around the corner reminding me how much of a stupid disappointment I am. That or I make a mistake to mess up everything and then I am reminded my place.
I am such a disappointment my dad now kinda sees me as the dumb one of the group.
Bottom line compared to them I am a loser.

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This post made my heart hurt. Because I hate to see the hurt you are going through and the emotions you are feeling. But also because I went through feeling this as I was growing up.
I was always different from my siblings and my family members. My brothers are athletic, intelligent, handsome and very full of life. My cousin is also smart, popular, went off to college and proceeded to adopt a family.
Then there was me. I failed all through school. I was behind. I was awkward. I’m still awkward. I have learning disabilities and later found out I have autism. I don’t function like everyone else. I burn out easy, I’m clumsy and I’m terrible at understanding let alone explaining things.

So I completely understand the feeling it leaves you in when you feel like you are different and stand out in a way that feels like it’s bad.

But let me tell you something. You are NOT useless. You are NOT a screw up. And you do NOT deserve to be treated poorly or yelled at just because you may be a little different than others. It’s okay to be different. It’s okay to grow, mature and learn at your own pace.

I was very much a late bloomer. My class mates and friends often made me feel like was immature. And that’s not fair. It’s not fair to you or me.

I’m sorry that you have been left to feel like there is something wrong with you. I’m sorry that you have been left to feel like you’re useless. You are not these things. You are important. You are valued. And you are so loved here in this community. People have asked before “How can you love someone you don’t know” which we always have to reply, BECAUSE, it doesn’t take knowing someone to know that you deserve love, compassion, understanding. We value you for who you are. For everything that makes and molds you to be you. We value and love you for your own unique way of being.

Just because you aren’t on the same level as others, whether it’s friends or family doesn’t mean you are any less of a person and any less deserving of love and respect. Okay?

You are not dumb and you are not a loser.

I care for you friend. So much. And we are here to love and support you.

Please hold fast. So much love to you.


Hello Jman,

Thank you for reaching out and posting to the Heart Support forums. You are NOT alone. It’s hard NOT to compare yourself to your siblings. You are not a disappointment. You are not worthless. You are NOT a dumb screwup. You are not someone your mother is wasting time on. You are you. You are a human being. You are loved.

Not making the grades, and not connecting socially are not things that define you. Grades, in the future, mean nothing, and people make connections in different ways.

As for the directions, people mess up. It happens. You did not deserve to be snapped at. You made mistakes. It happens, it’s part of life. You do not deserve to be yelled at for simply making mistakes.

Your mother has five good kids, not four and then you. She has five. You and your siblings are ALL good kids. You have worth, value, and importance. You are loved. Take care of yourself.

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Hey buddy

I spent a lot of my life blaming myself for other people planting a bad seed in me.

We arent born with a negative self image. Or negative thoughts. They become planted.

I want to help you uproot that plant. Youre worth it friend