Okay. So it’s been a while… Sorry about that.
I’m kind of in a rough spot right now. Let me explain.
I hadn’t been on the forum in a while. And only two days ago, I decided to log back in and see if anyone needed some words of encouragement.
So I logged in only to find out that I had three private messages from the same person. I was completely in shock when I read it. The person who send me those messages told me that I was a heartbreaking whore and slut. And that that person wants me to kill myself.
Now I get a lot of things thrown to my head. So these messages aren’t new to me.
But I was so shocked that a person on this loving forum could send something like that to me. I know who this person is. I know I had trouble with this person before. But after such a long time being away from the forum, getting back to find such messages, It broke me. I cried most of the night. Even though it’s not the first time hearing words like that.
Now I’m in a position where I have no idea how to handle this. I’m not going to get in contact again, that’s for sure. But I just don’t know how to deal with the feelings I feel right now. I’m sad and confused, but mostly angry. Not even mad at that person, but at myself, for letting myself feel this way about it.
I don’t know. Maybe it’s stupid. I know I should just let it go and get on with my life. But now every time I get those words thrown to me by the people from my school, it brings back those messages and it’s breaking me again and again and again.
Please just tell me how to stop all this. 'Cause I’m making myself crazy with the really bad thoughts. And I don’t wanna do things I know I’m going to regret.
Thanks for reading this crap. I’m sorry that it had to be so long.