So this post may not be ordinary to others , this has happened to a bunch of people but this has been the first for me.
As much as this hurts to write , even tho i didn’t want to write this . I decided to let my feelings out on here cause why not?
So me and my now ex have been together for about a year we would see each other everyday at lunch because he was always a grade below me. Well it was my last year in high school where we started to date and there would be times where he would skip lunch and eat the previous lunch with this girl who he also knows but she also had a crush on him even though she knew he was dating me… i was told i shouldn’t be mad at him at the time. there were many times where i had issues with him and showing me stuff where i literally got offended with what he had said , done , or even show me . (showed me a post of a ride that would give me anxiety, send me a post without context, and even telling my mom about an incident that i had every single right to be mad at him about.) even before those issues when i graduated i was afraid to actually leave him alone with the girl because i was afraid something bad would happen ( i was right). Coming up on September 3rd 2019 we celebrated 1 year together . its been 1 year and 1 month and something days and he finally cheated on me . FINALLY CHEATED. He came and told me everything and i even cried in front of him i was also shaking . He told me that he wanted me to earn his trust back , and asked if i forgive him and yet i said yes. after awhile i asked for space, my mom brought me food . after i ate i went on a walk. When i got back i decided (with the help of some people) i decided to break up with him . It was hard but i decided my worth was more important then some stupid guy. So i sent the text and i also looked at all the red flags. The only reason why he did this is because his mom sent him out of the house on Halloween and the day before he did show me a picture of something about Halloween and sex and i guess i laughed it off and not considered that a red flag at the moment. So after we broke up he showed up to my house . he called me twice , i denied both phone calls. He also knocked , i ignored him. he rang the doorbell, i ignored him . My mom apparently found out. My mom took me out for an ice cream and my ex apparently contacted me through a spare account that i blocked right that second. When i went to go check to see if he had everything removed he still had my Instagram in his bio , great. Also with this break up i feel like i lost a bunch of friends because of them being friends with him. So i don’t know what to do at this point.
Hey Friend,
I have never been cheated on but I’ve witnessed my mom being cheated on so many times from my stepdad. And she forgives him so many times because she didn’t want me to grow up without a dad. But she divorces him anyways, you are worth so much more force on your self because you are more important. Force on yourself do what you need to do and someone will come to you someday.
Thank you for coming on here and talking about it. Remember you are more important.
We already spoke about this so I won’t repeat myself. I’m glad that your mom took you out! That was really sweet of her to do. 
You did what you needed girl. It’ll take some time to heal but you can come through this. In life we go through a lot of friendships and relationships. Each one we learn from and become better for it. Take this time to focus on you. And reflect on what you’d like in your future relationships. That way when later down the line, when you’re ready to try again, you can communicate things you need for it to work. Like trust and communication.
I’m proud of you with how you handled it.
It can be hard sharing friends with a boyfriend or spouse. I had to let go of a lot of people when I divorced. Most of the people we mutually connected to were originally his friends. So I pulled away. I understand how hard that is. It feels like socially starting over some times
We’re here for you. I love you very much.
Update: i still kinda feel like crap i have kinda wanted to isolate from my friends i just feel “alone”. Why the hell did he have to do this to me.
The one thing that you have to learn to wrap your head around is that what he did had nothing to do with you; it’s all his own problems.
You were never “not enough”.
He had his own problems that only he can work out but right now all he knows how to do is lash out and hurt others.
I know it hurts, honey I really, really do know. But at the same time know that, yes, the pain you feel is unique because only YOU were in that relationship with him; only you had those experiences with him, those memories. No one else had your exact relationship, so we can relate but of course your pain is unique.
Tell yourself every day that you “are good enough”, that you “can do anything”, that you “will show the world”. Say it as many times as you need to, don’t be afraid to embrace anger but know how to control it and use it productively. Chanel it into work, a project, exercise, learning something new.
Even when you don’t believe it, keep telling yourself “I am good enough”.
Know that you are not alone, that you can make it through, and that what he did was all his own problems and had nothing to do with you. And as hard as it is, try to remember that you can’t change or “save” anyone, they have to make the decision to change themselves. Stay strong, it’s ok to cry and it’s important to feel your emotions just don’t doubt your own worth.
thanks @LastStraw ,
it sucked that my family thought he was good for me . past relationships some of them have gotten dick pictures , had sex, but with me he didnt . he told me he wanted to make it last .
thanks for responding
- Ashley
Hi All Around Ashley,
I’m so sorry that you had to experience that. However, events do not define you. It is how you react and respond to life’s events that define you. Just because someone did not fully see your special and uniquely gifted ways, does not mean you are any less of a treasure to be discovered. I really am impressed that you took the risk to share on this site. Thank you, Sylvia