I got told I need more help than they could provide

I’ve been contemplating getting help for a while for some issues but I’m not sure how or if I even want to. But I was trying to find a plan for something seemingly simple and crisis people even said that would require more depth than they are trained for.

Even if I truly want help I have no privacy or time to. I don’t need roommates overhearing, I don’t have a car, Corona is a thing, and the idea of using a public space for something so private is weird.

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Hi Xan,

I’m sorry to hear that you are having difficulties in finding appropriate help. I’m sure that feels defeating, but please don’t be discouraged. There are many healthy outlets which you can create help for yourself outside of professional help. You mentioned that the idea of using a public space for something so private is weird, which I think is totally understandable to think that. Perhaps there are ways you can privately express your thoughts, feelings, worries, etc. yourself and in your own space. Do you like to write at all? Maybe try some personal journaling to write out your feelings so that you can see what spills out on the pages and release it there. Is there something in particular that you enjoy that you can focus on and turn into a form of self-help? I think something small like that can at least 1) provide a form of enjoyment/therapy for yourself and 2) possibly help reveal in what ways you want to focus on getting help.

I hope this helps friend. Stay strong and know that there is help everywhere!

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Not every counselor is specially equipped to deal with every issue, but some counselors are better equipped to deal with certain issues more than others. For example: my mental healthcare providers specialize in treating substance abuse. I’m not an addict (if anything I tend toward anhedonic), I just happened to get set up with them. That said, they told me I’m pretty easy to work with compared to their regular clientele. Not every counselor is equipped to deal with addiction issues though.

Someone is out there who can help you. Just look around, do some Google searching, ask your friends and their friends, or even ask the provider who turned you away for a referral. You’ll find a therapist.

**not sure if I started rambling on this or not. :tipping_hand_woman:

Something I thought about last night was interesting. In my original statement I had said:

Even if I truly want help I have no privacy
the idea of using a public space for something so private is weird.

I don’t know if I’m just more informed about dr./patient confidentiality or if I’m just getting in my own way, because…

I was thinking way back to high school where I was not a fan of the stuffy officers that had me tense on edge or rigidly fidgeting. I could never relax. At the time I was a runner. I literally ran from my problems. So I read a article about how a ny therapist was changing the game, using the nature in central park to help people with a new approach to therapy.

So its weird now that I would want the office inside, instead of the freedom to walk or run. 2020 is actually supposed to be our year, a year to prove we can overcome anything while also showing us we are in control of nothing. 2020 has given us an opportunity to choose taking it slower and taking more breaks at work (grocery and fast food not included). Technology allows us to have therapy on the phone. Libraries are no longer just places for books but double as private media or meeting rooms.

An off topic fear of therapy is the very real possibility that therapy can mess me up all over again undoing all the progress I have made since ditching therapy for self help/exploration.

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Remote therapy might be a little awkward in your group living situation. My wife and I each leave the apartment when the other is doing therapy. However, doing it in a park or public place may not be so bad. People passing by aren’t paying attention to your conversations, they’re focused on themselves or their environment, and your conversation is just background noise. Even if someone decides to eavesdrop, so what? They don’t know you, they’ll never see you again, and they’ll probably lose interest in hearing one side of a conversation that doesn’t involve them.

Leaving behind a well-managed situation for the chaos of the unknown is scary. Sometimes I think about things that will disrupt our nice and tidy 5 year goals, and it makes me a little anxious. I’m trying to reframe it though. Taking a step back isn’t undoing your progress, it’s giving you an opportunity to see other paths and patterns that may be worth going down. If you’ve made worthwhile progress on your self-help journey, then you’ve picked up some tools with it. If you feel like you’re at a dead end with self-help, take those tools into therapy. You may peel back some painful stuff, but that’s an opportunity to do more healing, and at this point you know what healing feels like so it should be a bit less scary.

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I’m unsure if this would be an excuse to keep procrastinating/avoiding therapy but I thought about waiting until I’ve wrote out my life story where me and others can see where I came from and how I’ve grown. My blessings and my trials. Saddest part is even if I wrote it for therapy, I don’t think a therapist would read that much while working with me. Even if they did, they would say that’s too much trama for 1 person to read about or that most of it is now unrelated to therapy as Im self aware enough to be removed from the situations.

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If it’s still pathological and if they’re any kind of decent therapist, a written story should be a perfect intro to therapy. Read it to them in your first session, and they will help you break it down into talking points and therapy goals. Like you said, just don’t procrastinate too long. It might even be therapeutic for you to write it all down!

I don’t know who you’ve been seeing, but “too much trauma” is an absolutely unacceptable answer from a therapist, at least without a referral to someone who is better equipped to help.

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Never really worked with a therapist. I saw 2 for only few visits but never was relaxed in the office

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