I Graduated... Now What?

I find myself in a rut now, after I’ve finally graduated from college just about a month ago. And well now I’m just feeling like crap. I feel worthless, and like I’m not even doing anything. I know that this is just a time of transition, but it’s so frustrating feeling like I’m waiting for the what’s next.

All of these people are asking me oh what are you doing now, and the honest answer is nothing. I mean I’m working 60 hours a week now that I’m not in school, but it’s not what I feel like I should be doing. I feel like I need something better, and well it makes me feel worthless, and depressed.

I just don’t know how to get past this, I don’t know how to feel better, and how to feel like I’m doing something with my life. I guess I just need advice, and to know if my feelings are normal

1 Like

Hey Monkey! First off, a big congrats on graduating! That’s fantastic :slight_smile:
That takes a ton of hard work and effort. Also, please know you have incredible value and worth, simply just by being who you are! Don’t ever forget that! God created us to have value and worth and you have an abundance of that!

As far as what to do next after college…that’s a tough one. I can understand that struggle too. I hated when people asked me what was next. I know they mean well but it’s not the most enjoyable of questions. All I can say is keep searching for something your heart connects with. It may not be a job or career but it could be a hobby or a friendship or something that leads to a good path.

Just know you are supported hear at Heart Support! It’s absolutely normal to feel how you are feeling. Life transitions are never easy. Keep up the awesome work and just focus on one day at a time! Hold onto hope!

1 Like

Hey! So I have heard speech after speech from Simon Sinek talking about your exact problem. He summarizes it as a form of game theory. Long of the short, you might have been playing a finite game, i.e. going towards an end goal, accomplishing the goal, then what? What he recommends is living in an “infinite game” mentality which is to say that each day, the game is to be better than you were the day before. Outlasting your competition is the only rule to the infinite game. One other suggestion he makes is be in the service of those who serve others… this is the sure step to finding joy and how I have found my own.

So about me now. I joined the military after a failed attempt at a two year college program. I was in my 20’s and I wanted to get out of the rut I was living in. People have since asked me “why I joined”, we all get that question. For most folks it is school, travel, etc… for me, it was a moment of clarity that I had when sitting in the back of a van driving the outer belt of Columbus, OH with my now late ‘Uncle Tom’. In his monologue he provided me, one after another, stories of old which were filled of regret. 'If only I had… If only I did… If only…" Regret… I heard that message, I saw it in his face, I was filled with remorse and a desire NOT to be like him… to wish upon a star on my death bed for the things I can no longer have. So I leaped and joined the world’s greatest Air Force. Best decision of my life… which rounds it back to what Simon Sinek says about finding Joy and Fulfillment.

I serve a great God. I serve a great nation. I serve a great branch of the federal government. I serve a great base. I serve a great team of folks that I love dearly. I have a great mission and I have purpose. My purpose and mission isn’t about what I do from 0500-1700 (5PM). My focus is on serving those around me who perform the mission. I look for ways to make their lives easier, better, and less stressful. Oftentimes it requires me to pull extra weight, but it is a walk in the park because I feel fulfilled. I feel blessed. I feel whole.

Long story short. I don’t like to tell you what you need to do, because I think that would be a little arrogant, and honestly, I would be miffed if people tried that with me. However, I think that sharing a story about how it might work and maybe offer up someone to listen to is a better approach. Anyways, just wanted to share.

Keep in touch!

2 Likes

@Monkey

This is something that some people in this world can relate to. Going to college/university is a lifestyle. After graduating, you won’t go back. It’s okay to feel of what you are feeling. Your are still in a journey. There are going to be trials. There are going to be moments where you want to give up, but take heart. God is with you. He will give you the strength you need to carry through. I encourage you to be grateful of the life you have. Continue to keep moving forward. I hope you will have a great week. Thank you for sharing. God bless you.

hey there @Monkey ,
1st of all thanks for posting. As soon as someone graudates from either highschool or college they wont know what they want for them , it can take months, years, days. thats okay. Your working 60 hours a week, well thats something. focus on one thing before u do something else.
-ashley

@Monkey

CONGRATS ON GRADUATING!!! That’s huge! I am so proud of you, and you should be proud of that achievement as well!

Transition periods are so very hard, believe me, I am in one right now myself and I am finding myself dealing with the same sort of thoughts you are. I am doing a lot, but none of it seems worth while to me, I feel like I should be doing more/better. It’s really hard, especially if you feel like people around you are putting pressure on you to do something different that what you are doing. Feeling stuck is honestly one of the worst feelings because it when you’re in the middle of it, it can seem never ending.

But, what you need to know and focus on and tell yourself is that this rut you are in right now will not last forever, that you are not stuck with these feelings forever. AND that you aren’t alone or wrong in feeling this way. I would encourage you to focus on what you are doing now and to take pride in that. You’ve just graduated college, you’re working 60 hours a week, thats major stuff dude!! I know you might not be where you want to be right now, but that’s okay, you will get there. You just have to keep moving forward. Apply for the jobs you want, even if depression or anxiety tells you it won’t work. I have found that its important to fight to push past those feelings, its so hard to, but I know you can.

Hold fast,
Hannah Presley

1 Like