I had an epiphany

Hi all.

I had an epiphany maybe 30 mins ago.

For those who don’t keep up with my posts, my husband recently fell ill. As it turns out he has Hand Foot Mouth Disease (he works with money so that’s probably how he got it). It’s highly contagious and can be spread through skin to skin contact, mucus, body fluids ect.

So for the past handful of days I’ve been letting him rest and have gone into what I refer to as my quarantine procedure which I adopted when I had a customer facing job to avoid getting sick - no touching the face, wash hands before eating or drinking regardless what I’ve touched, sanitize all knobs and handles. This weekend I spent probably 10 hours keeping the house clean so that hopefully me and Kiera don’t get sick.

But then it dawned on me. My love language is touch, and the lack of ability to touch or be touched, even something as simple as hugs or holding hands, might be contributing to my spiking anxiety. Hopefully me and Kiera make it without getting sick. I don’t want to spend anymore time apart than we have to.


I think you and Kiera will be fine. Fortunately the virus clears up pretty quickly. It sounds like he needs to use sanitizer every few minutes while he’s working with money or people. Yes, touch is very important. Much can be communicated with touch that can’t be with words.


His hands already look a lot better and he throat doesn’t hurt anymore but his feet are still pretty bad.

He keeps hand sanitizer in his truck to use between stops but I can’t say for sure what his habits are since I’m not on the truck with him. Heh. But hopefully after this he will be a little more careful.

I think the reason touch is so meaningful to me is that after growing up abused, I hated being touched (I still do in most cases) and so it’s not something I have experienced so much and he’s the only one that I actually trust enough to touch me. I don’t like hugs from family members or handshakes or anything. Ironically neither does he, but he attributes it to his Autism.



Hi Sapphire, It sounds like you’re doing great with taking care that your daughter (and you) are safe. It also sounds like you’re getting towards the end of the 10 days and you’ll be able to hug your husband again. It shouldn’t be too long for things to get back to normal. You’re such a wonderful mother! ~Mystrose


From: twixremix

hi sapphire,

thank you for sharing this update with your HS fam on the forum. you, your husband, and lil’ kiera are going through such a difficult time and i need you to know that you all are in my thoughts as y’all make it through this together. this is quite a test of strength and perseverance but i know the precautions you’re all making right now is paying off to ensure you and kiera’s health as well as your husband’s peace of mind. the anxiety of not being able to express your love language like usual on top of the added stress of ensuring a clean environment is no easy task but you’re doing it, you’re going to make it through this soon! 10 hours of cleaning especially sounds so tiring and i hope you are able to take any much-needed naps you need as well as other self-care methods necessary. you’re an incredible parent, partner to your husband, and a strong person all-around.

i know this feels like a lifetime of waiting to hug your husband again. i’m thankful hand foot mouth disease has a quick recovery time, y’all are almost to the finish line by the rough timeline you shared. you CAN do this!



From: Rohini_868

hi there,

I’m glad that you had this insight, it sounds like it’s a realization that will help you be a better couple, because it brings you both closer, even if you’re physically apart for a few more days.

10 hours of cleaning is a lot, and it shows how much you try to keep that little girl safe. You’re a good mama! hope that your husband recovers quickly and things can be a little less stressful for you both!


Hey Sapphire,

I am so sorry that you and your family are going through this right now. My prayers are with you, your hubs, and your child through all of this :hrtlegolove:

If my google skills are to be trusted, it seems like things should be going back to normally fairly soon with your husband as he clears up the virus. Hold out a few days more, friend. Then gobble up all that affectionate contact that you missed out on over the last few days!

Side note… 10 hours of cleaning? Yowza! You are one dedicated momma and wife! I am sure your kiddo and husband super appreciate all your effort. And at least you can take away your epiphany as a silver lining to this whole ordeal.


Hello Sapphire,

I absolutely love your epiphany & maybe that’s something you could explore further. I always found it interesting to find out my love language with friends & even partners. Maybe in the meantime, you & your husband can do mini zoom dates & connect on other levels. Then, it will make that time go by faster & it will be extra sweet when you can connect again with your husband face to face.

I am proud of you for taking care of Kiera like you are. Keep on keeping on! You are important. You are valid. You are strong. You matter.

-StarFox :yellow_heart:


From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hi Friend, Thank you for your post, I am sorry your husband is unwell, it certainly can be difficult when you have a young child and one of you is unwell and yes not being able to have physical contact with your husband must be tough esp if its something you tend to rely on a lot. However with anxiety its best to weigh up what is going to give you the least amount and for this i wonder if it is less anxiety to have this time apart from your partner than for you and your little one to catch this illness. I know its hard and I hope that you manage to get through this without anyone else picking it up. You are a wonderful mum and I have no doubt you will do everything you can. Much Love Lisalovesfeathers. x


From: eloquentpetrichor

Hello, Sapphire! That is cool that you’ve had this revelation about yourself and how much you enjoy touch. It’s a little unfortunate that you are discovering it at a time when you cannot allow yourself that contact. It sounds like a few more days and he will hopefully be better and you can touch each other again. Hang in there, friend. You are doing amazing keeping you and your child healthy. Wishing you all the best and your husband a full and speedy recovery :hrtlegolove:


Thanks everyone for your support, it really does mean a lot. My manager is letting me take a vacation next week so that should be better. Neither myself nor Kiera are showing signs of being sick.