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I had jam with someone last night

Lucky I was able to jam with someone last, she was very chill and like my song. It was a bit messy, but it never perfect for the first time. However, I felt I made thing really uncomfortable. I was never cuase it was female. Side note she ask to use my bathroom, but then my dad walk out naked in a towel. So It made more anxious.

I really hope we play music again, but I hate getting my hope up and being crushed. My thought thinking “fuck that person” “fuck the music” “ why bother with music” and all money end time wasted in music. Then was scare to look at my phone, I’m afraid of the text I might get and then being rejected. I hate having these emotions and feelings. I feel my band shit never work out and into an egotistical person.

I feel no give a shit about me as musician and I just suck at music and don’t know I bother with it.

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Are you trying to be perfect, or just want to have fun? A lot of musicians allow their imperfection to become part of their art. It sounds like you have forgotten to have fun with music. Take the pressure off of yourself. Mistakes are part of the process, in fact you could say they are a necessary part of success.

I guess it’s a good thing your dad had a towel! She probably smiled about it after she left.

Like mistakes, rejections call forth opportunities to fine tune your approach towards women. As far as I can tell, the majority of women find sincerity, authenticity, and respect, to be very attractive traits in a man.

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try to take it slow, get to know her first, and figure out what kind of schedule you could come up with so you can find time to play again. Dont overthink it and put too much pressure and expectations. Congrats on going out there and doing your thing too!

Do the music for yourself, even if the crowd is tiny. Do it because you love the music and YOu want to hear you play. If you can do that, people will follow soon enough. Don’t try to do it for anyone else. Be proud of it for yourself. The only you can control is your own reaction. It’ll be some hard going at first, but hoping you can stick with it and have fun too.

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Something else occurred to me you might like. Spend a few minutes (or more), playing recklessly, even badly, just to loosen up. Play something silly, like Three Blind Mice, and add your own lyrics.

Here’s to fun:

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