I hate being me

Hello everyone please help me!
So i just turned 15 recently and i hate myself.
I am not worth it… i want to die.
I have tried to kill myself but then changed my mind because i don’t want people to waste their time with my selfishness.
I am the defenition of garbage.
Ugly, annoying, petty, lazy and on and on.
I just hope i will die one day (as soon as possible.)
I hate crying every day and harming myself (it makes me tired).
Why can’t i just start fresh?
Go somewhere where no one will know who i am.
Then i’ll probably be happy…
My mom abuses me but i don’t hate it.
I love feeling pain because i deserve it.
I have friends but i feel like they lost interest in me.
I’m alone…
I just want someone to tell me that i’m worth it.
That i’m not what i think i am.

Goodbye

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Hey, instead of harming your self use this instead

https://calmharm.co.uk/
https://www.crisistextline.org/
I use them it’s pretty good.

I think that reaching for a friend would help you they didn’t “lose interest” you just think that way, your mind is playing tricks on you don’t let it win you over.

you are worth it
𝗵𝘂𝗴𝘀

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Thank you so much for the help.
I will try out the recommendations.

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Hey friend. I’m sorry you are hurting right now. @Ray has listed some really helpful resources that you definitely should use if you are feeling like you may hurt yourself. I know that things are feeling overwhelming right now, but you matter. Your life matters. You deserve to be heard. You don’t have to fight all these feelings alone.

There is also this:

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Please reach out to these resources. I know it’s hard.

I’m sorry that things at home are hard and that you have a rough relationship with your mom. You should definitely talk to someone about the things going at home. Whether it’s one of those resources, another family member or a teacher. Anyone that can help you get the care you need.

Everything that you are going through right now matters. So if you need to talk about it, know that we are here to listen. No judgement.

:hrtlegolove:

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Thank you so much for the support

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thank you for sharing friend…

these are hard feelings that are very much real. i recognize what you are feeling and have been there before.

the resources posted above are great, and yes, reaching out to talk to some one, just one person…that makes such a difference. it wont be a quick fix, however it will build and build. just be present with that one person. talk to them.

you are valued. you matter

love,

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I’m here to tell you that YOU ARE WORTH IT! As long as you have breath you have a purpose and the opportunity to do great things in this world!! You are soooo young, and you have so much potential in you. At this age, things can sometimes seem to revolve around friends/school/parents, and it might seem like you are always doing what they want you to do. Soon and you can start now or maybe you already started but you will find your life passions/ goals and develop them. You will have even more freedom to develop your passions when you become legal. And you have so many places, talents, and skills to explore in your life. Also, I wanted to tell you I am sorry that you are feeling pain right now in life. While writing this message a thought came into my head, I know this might sound very cliche and overused but you can use the ripe lemons life gives you and turn it into lemonade. I hope during this quarantine you can research and find things you want to do and just simply relax. Continue watch movies, exercise, do yoga, or whatever you love that positive. Even though the tough times continually remind yourself you are worth it!! Even if you do not believe it at first, continue to say this out loud and to yourself and it can begin to positively affect your self-esteem. You are here to do great things and I believe it!
Also, feel free to always talk to a counselor or someone you trust about these feelings and continue to post on here we love to help :slight_smile:

God bless and on a personal note Jesus loves you and is always there for you. Just in case you do not know you can always call on the name of Jesus and start talking to him and reading his word in the Holy Bible no matter what.

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I reached out to my friends and they said that they will support me so i feel a lot better since.
Thank you to everyone who gave me their support.

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Thank you for the kindness :heart::heart::heart:

My life is pretty stable, and I still think this about once a week. The thing is, that doesn’t usually work out for people. I know a lot of people who have moved away for fresh starts, but their demons follow them. Oftentimes they wind up moving back because, not only do their demons follow them, but they don’t have any support networks where they go. You don’t realize how many good people are in your life until you have no one at all.

Putting up with your mom’s abuse is another form of self-harm, only worse because someone else is reinforcing your negative beliefs about yourself. YOU DON’T DESERVE IT. Your mom is unhappy and taking it out on you. Tune out the things she says about you. Only you get to decide who you are. I know right now that picture is bleak, but you get to choose how you paint it, not her.

That’s the depression talking. Many if not all of us have been there. I know the voices sound real, but they’re not. When we’re depressed, we tend to retreat from our friends and loved ones, push them away, and then tell ourselves they don’t care. But read that over a few times and think, logically and not emotionally, does it really make sense? If we are running from our friends as fast as we can, are they the ones who don’t care? The depression says yes, but what you think if you were watching that play out in a movie?

You are worth it, and you are good. The fact that you have friends shows you matter to somebody.

Go to https://positivepsychology.com/cognitive-distortions/ and give it a read. This breaks down the things we tell ourselves, why we believe them, and why they’re false.

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Thank you so much for the answer.
I am very grateful

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YOU are WORTH it . I promise even if it don’t always feel that way .

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Dear sad2005

Self hatred is very powerful feeling and it can be destructive and makes feel like complete. I relate what you say in many way. I’m 29 and still dealing thought suicide and depression. I post fucked shit online yesterday and it show how weak I’m am.

However, I do abuse do not solve any problems, I was mental abuse I was in middle school and it still fuck with my mind, I even mental abuse my friends and family, it fuck habit I can’t break. But honestly again abuse whatever it self harm and on other people do not make things better.

One thing you got going your still young and the earlier you start self healing the better. It you want to , try some DBT skills, CBT skills and even lock up YouTube video on mental health. One YouTuber I really like is Katie Morton she really good and check some Alan Watts lectures his work is amazing.

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Thank you.
You are too!

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Thank you for the answer.
I‘ve been feeling much better recently thanks to the support.
I will take the advice and look up those youtubers.

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