Not good with opening up about my feelings but here I go. Over the past 3 months my life has just been out of my control. I lost my girlfriend of 6 years due to my actions(I was lieing and being disetful being shady all because I hate conflict) it was easier for me to lie then to hurt her feelings which in the long run I was doing anyways. Now that we have been broken up for 2 months I see the error of all my ways and wish I could redo all 6 years. I feel like such a worthless person for how I was treating the one I love the one I want to marry some day.
After that I had my prized postion my mtn bike(trek stache) stolen from my car while it was locked in my driveway. The one thing that keep my mind off this break up was taken right out from under me while I slept.
I’m so depressed and my anxiety is through. I spend most of my days in tears feeling sorry for my self thinking that karma has come back to bite me and it sucks I think about what it would be like of I was just gone from this earth.
Hey friend, thank you for sharing.
I’ve been in a similar spot where things fell apart with someone I cared about and it was all my fault. And it is not easy. But that doesn’t mean we can lie to ourselves. You are not worthless, and you do not deserve to be gone from this world.
Sometimes our lives just fall apart. And there is no other way to describe the situation. But I believe that the reason they fall apart is because we needed to put them back together; which is a healthy thing. Ultimately you will learn from this, and you will be okay. I promise. It can feel like you’re a puzzle, with all your pieces scattered across the room. But the only way to put a puzzle together is piece by piece. Take it slow, and in steps. Apologize to who you’ve hurt, even if they don’t take you back or forgive you it will help you make peace with who you were and who you are now.
You’ll be okay, you matter, you are loved.
Hang in there.
Everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect, especially when we are young adults. I think that it is a very good thing that you are learning from past mistakes and you should feel accomplished in even being able to feel emotions of regret, and have the ability to self-reflect. Some people never do that for their entire lives and just keep living destructively. Try not to be so hard on yourself, you clearly feel sorry and that’s okay. It might be helpful to express these feelings to the ex-girlfriend as well. I think you will be surprised at how much closure you will get from letting her know that you are incredibly sorry and have learned from this harsh life experience. We all make mistakes, some are just harder to deal with than others. All we can do is learn and grow. Thank you for sharing, and you are not a lost cause (I can tell just by your remorse). Hoping you feel better soon <3 (also sorry about your bike!)