Back to heartsupport

I hate myself and want to die asap

I will keep on trying to kill myself. That’s a fact I’ve come to accept after numerous failed attempts. One of these days, it will get done correctly.

I see no point to continue. I hate myself and this life enough to want to have that drive to suicide. My life has never mattered and it never will.

3 Likes

Hey Reijak.

Hey look, I’m sorry that you are having such a hard time right now, friend. Sounds like you have got some heavy things weighing on you. Do you think maybe talking about it a little bit would help? I don’t want you to hurt yourself. You deserve so much more than suicide. You deserve to be heard. You matter, your life matters. What you are going through matters.

So if you want to kinda talk about why you are feeling so heavily this way, Im listening okay? Lets talk

If you aren’t comfortable talking here more in depth, there is also these that you can use that Micro has so kindly been sharing around on the forums.

Crisis text line - text HOME to 741741
Suicide hotline - 1-800-273-8255
National Suicide Prevention Chat: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/

3 Likes

I feel there is no point in continuing living when I hate myself and my life so much. I don’t want my life better, actually. I just want to die.

2 Likes

Friend, why do you hate your life and yourself so much? Why don’t you want it to get better.

I’m sorry you feel so deeply this way. ):

1 Like

Reijak,

Thank you so much for reaching out. The fact that you’re posting here tells me that there is some part of you, no matter how small, that wants to LIVE. That is desperate for a solution to the pain you are feeling.

I want to speak to that part of you - you’ve come to the right place. There are people here who have been through what you are going through now and have survived it and are happy now. You can survive this too. It might take some work, and I know that sounds daunting right now, but it will be worth it. One option is therapy and there is online resources that are great for that like betterhelp.com/heartsupport, something else that is really helpful is our twitch stream, which you can check out at twitch.tv/heartsupport.

What I do know is that there are people who love you, and there is a purpose for your life. I know because you are reaching out you are strong and brave and those two qualities can save you and heal you if you let them.

Taylor

4 Likes

@Reijak,

I hear you. I wish you never had to go through all of this. Wish you didn’t have to deal with such dark thoughts right now.

I hope you don’t mind, but I remember that you shared on the SW already, so I read the messages you posted before. You’ve been hurting for such a long time… But you didn’t talk about what is causing you that pain. You mentioned flashbacks once, the awful healthcare services where you live. But nothing more. And I don’t want to assume anything, but I guess you’ve been through some very difficult things in your life.

Friend, I’d like to encourage you to talk to us. The support wall is a safe place to share about what happened to you, also about what’s going on right now. We are willing to listen and support you as much as we can, to help and look after resources that might be helpful to you. I can assure you that you don’t deserve to feel such intense pain. And life is not about feeling this endlessly. There is more to see, to live, to breathe.

Let’s help each other, friend. Let’s hold hands. You are not alone.

Please, stay safe. Give a try to the resources that @KittyKoyangi and @taylorpalmby mentioned.

I’m rooting for you.
I believe in you.
Hang in there.

:heart:

2 Likes

@Reijak

I hope this song speaks to you.

3 Likes

We are here for you. Your matter. I don’t know if this song will help you https://youtu.be/4-Q_0iKNnVM but I hope it will

2 Likes

Yo, i’ve been there too. I think i’ve made huge progress finally this last month and have come actually reconnect with myself and the will to live and to live happily. I wish there was a way to pass you this newfound light inside of me.
If only you knew that behind all that pain and hate is so much greatness and grandiosity, I wish I could take away the pain from you but only you can do it and when you do it you will be a totally different person.

Once someone here shared to me this video and it helped me a lot when I was at the brink of suiciding, I hope it helps you.

Sending you a huge motherfuking hug bro.

4 Likes