I hate myself

I reached a point again where I want to drown in drugs and alcohol.
The last weeks have been painful and I got reminded of what it feels like to be out of control.
I keep fantasizing about being drunk, high, or dead.

I don’t think I have to contribute anything to the world.
I don’t want to feel like this and I don’t know how to ask for help, I don’t want to bother anyone.

I have found it to be the case in most experiences that when you open up to someone you realize you aren’t alone in struggle. Think of this forum. People relating to eachother about all kinds of subject matter and there is always someone who can relate. Sometimes we think we are the greatest disappointment, the biggest failure, the least worthy, but when we open up to someone we become someone’s hero, maybe even a life saver. You never know what someone’s going through or where they have been, so I say take a chance and tell someone. You might give someone else hope and find some yourself. We can overcome.

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Hey there. First off thank you so much for posting on here. I know exactly how you are feeling because I’ve definitely felt that way before. Many of times. You are a contribute to this world. You are loved. I just want to encourage you that you are never alone in this and if you ever need support, this amazing community will ALWAYS be there. No matter what.

Hold Fast. We Believe In You.