I hate that alot of my struggles are invisible

I have a very unhealthy relationship with food I CRAVE garbage and sugar not just like in the sense that like I really want it but like I seek out the rush my brain gets cuz it makes me feel better I have a problem and I know this I don’t work out cuz I don’t have the will power or ability to keep to a schedule I’m nearing 300 pounds again and I hate it I’m tired of feeling this way I literally need to be DRAGGED to a gym so that I work out and even then I fucking hate it it feels like a chore I can’t force my self to work out at home cuz then I just won’t do it either way weightloss culture feels fake as hell cuz like everyone talks about how working out helps with depression and anxeity but it dosent at least not for me I just end up sweaty and depressed rather then just depressed and then I’m not faced with can I get my depressed ass into a shower to wash off or do I just deal with it till I shower again at some point I’ve told my family about my unhealthy relationship with food and they have just told me to eat what makes me happy and then bitch when I gain weight…I feel helpless


A doctor or nutritionist might be able to help, although it didn’t help me. I just sort of figured things out over time. I’ve dealt with cravings and emotional eating for much of my life. I’ve managed to keep my weight stable for the past several years by avoiding triggers, being very consistent with my eating patterns, and finding other ways to occupy my mind.

You mention a brain rush, which is accurate when it comes to cravings. Satisfying a craving causes a short-term dopamine rush, but then, it’s followed by a reduction in dopamine. It’s kind of impossible for exercise not to help, but it’s affect can be very subtle, and not override pre-existing depression and anxiety. 20 minutes of something that elevates the heart rate, improves oxygenation to the brain. That may enhance alertness and thought process.

If you get dragged to the gym, and come away depressed, you’re still better off than if you hadn’t gone to the gym. However, if the gym doesn’t work for you, maybe there’s something else you can do. I don’t know what the weather’s like where you are, but where I am, I can walk year-round. We also have a mall, for when the weather is superhot. If working out feels like a chore, it’s not sustainable. It’s better to find something that you enjoy and that involves some physical activity. Even if the activity is not something normally considered to be exercise, still, it’s doing something that diverts focus away from cravings.

Your family is not qualified to give you weight management advice, unless they have training in that area. Based on what they told you, I don’t believe they have.

In spite of that, maybe the comment should be given some thought. It’s worth asking, does eating the things that you crave make you happy? Does the dopamine rush that disappears almost immediately, sometimes even while you are still eating what you craved, sufficient to make you happy?

So, maybe the eating that makes you happy, involves foods that your body benefits from, rather than those you feel bad about consuming.

Carbon monoxide is deadly because the body has greater affinity to it than it does oxygen. In other words, the lungs will reject oxygen in favor of carbon monoxide. The reason for this is that nothing in our evolution prepared us for the presence of carbon monoxide. Similarly, nothing in our evolution prepared us for the refined foods and empty calories that we end up craving. In short, the body will reject oxygen in favor of carbon monoxide, and reject a decent diet in favor of a crappy one.

Based on the above, it would seem that poor food choices come naturally. It also suggests that what the body wants isn’t necessarily what the body needs.

This is why a huge percentage of population has difficulty managing weight. You are absolutely not alone.

You are not helpless! I think the most effective way to deal with cravings and improved diet, is to make very small changes at a time. For example, maybe a bite or two less of something per day, and stay at that level of intake for a week, then reduce it by another bite or two, the following week, and so on. Tiny changes are far less likely to trigger cravings or cause a sense of deprivation. If you crave junkfood it’s possible to gradually back away from that too.

I think the overwhelming majority of diets fail because the person wants to suddenly and radically reform their diet. Based on my experience, the percentage of those who succeed at that is very low.

It’s good that you’re here, with the courage to make your struggles visible. As always, you are beautiful where it counts.

It dosent it just helps the pain go away for a little bit I don’t get a rush In that I feel excited or revved up It just makes me not feel sad for a bit

I go to the gym depressed and come away depressed and sweaty and not wanting to do more then sleep my depression is a big debilitating factor in my life it cripples my brain and in turn cripples my day to day life I’ve been slipping alot since where I was even when my dad died I went from being able to look after the house and my self to barely being able to do the same thing within the same week Im not as suicidal but everything else is a struggle I’m putting everything else my family puts on me first before I consider my basic needs such as hygiene

1 Like

Would it help you to know that most people who suffer from depression experience the same thing? I was diagnosed with Major Depression along with my BPD. I may not know your personal experience, but I can relate to everything you said. If you are that crippled from depression, there are things you can do.

Are you in therapy? You probably don’t have to pay for it now that you are on disability. Some states require all state-regulated commercial health plans and insurers to provide full coverage for the treatment of all mental health conditions and substance use disorders. I don’t pay a penny for my therapy. Most therapists will see you online (video chat) or even over the phone now so, you don’t even have to worry about transportation.

Are you on medication for depression? If you are, do you think you might need a med adjustment?

Call the Behavior Health Dept in your county and see what they can do for you.

If this is something that you don’t want, then make a change.

1 Like

It takes going to the gym three times a week for about a month before you really notice a difference. At that point, it becomes easier to get up out of the chair and move around. I’ll say it again, if your going to be depressed either way, you might as well be in better physical shape while you’re at it.

Is that what they expect of you?

Think of yourself as a whole and complete person, with physical needs, and a need for emotional support. That reminds me, are you still on a schedule with a therapist? Perhaps you haven’t noticed, but I have. You have made progress towards making your life more manageable. I believe that will continue.

If you feel compelled to do what your family puts on you, get it over with as early in the day as possible. Then you have the rest of the day for yourself. If you really want to put it off until later in the day, use the need for personal hygiene as an excuse to do so. Feeling depressed and cranky is not unusual when there are things that you need to do, but don’t want to, hanging over your head. That’s why I get rid of such chores as soon as I can. It comes down to a choice. Feel the weight of an impending task all day, or move beyond the task and have most of all day without that cloud hanging overhead.

What do you do for enjoyment?

Yup see her every two weeks

1 Like

They expect me to keep the house clean and when when it’s not I get yelled at and so I have this negative reinforcement loop of wanting to just have me time but knowing it I don’t I’m gonna get yelled at and then also none of the stuff gets done cuz neither my brother or mom will do it

1 Like