Lately I have been feeling like I am the only person who would ever love myself. People just don’t like being around me and I don’t know why. I just want to express how I feel unloved and uncared for but I’m constantly shamed for being “too negative” and that it’s obvious why no one will ever want me when im so negative, even when I desperately try to put on a happy face so people won’t leave. I really just want love and I hate that I need it. I hate that I need to be validated, because everyone tells me that wanting validation means you’re weak and needy and toxic. I can’t even want to be supported. I feel lesser than everyone for my struggles. They all have people who love them, who put them first, who would care if they were gone. I don’t think anyone would even notice if I left. I’m always the forgotten one, left behind, ignored, in fact people probably don’t know I exist. I want for one person to just tell me I’m good enough, that I deserve love, but they don’t. It’s so demoralizing to constantly be put at fault for my own feelings of isolation and worthlessness, as if I did this to myself. I just think I deserve love and validation. I think I deserve patience. But no one else does. Apparently I must be a perfect person to deserve the bare minimum of human compassion, but no one else needs to change, just me.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be loved and validated. Needing validation doesn’t make you needy and toxic. Sure we have to be careful we don’t go overboard with it. Sometimes obsessing over validation can be unhealthy, but just about everyone needs a little validation sometimes. But where you seek out that validation matters.
We as human naturally crave companionship. Nobody wants to be alone. We all want to be loved, needed and desired. You are right, you DO deserve love and validation. You matter. You are important. Friend, I’m not sure who these people are that are telling you these things, but maybe it would be worth reflecting on the relationships you invest in. Making sure that you are investing in people that love you for who you are, support you and offer healthy advice.
I mean we always should be open to hearing healthy advice. To being confronted if we need to be. Its good to be open minded. But you also don’t want the wrong people telling you things that aren’t true.
You deserve love. You are good enough. You do not have to be perfect. Nobody is perfect. You deserve compassion.
I can relate with the ostracism of negativity. I was in the same boat last year. I was a very negative person and no one wanted me around, and when I was around others, they would team up on me calling me an attention whore, debbie downer, and whatever else you can think of. I didnt want to be that way and when I would try and explain my position it was all for naught. It sucks. It really does. But then I came to Heart Support. And not a single person here has yet to turn me away.
It’s natural to crave human interaction, love, compassion, etc. It’s part of the human condition. Every one deserves some kind of validity.
We see you. We hear you. We love you.