I hate the way i look

i feel so self cautious. it’s effecting my daily life and daily activities. i can’t go to school without wearing a sweatshirt to hide my body. in the beginning of this year i was a little bulimic. i would count calories and restrict. i have had guys impact the way i feel about myself. if feel like my body is the reason people don’t talk to me. i am just scared that i could get an eating disorder again. it is so hard to love myself. i can’t explain why or how. i sometimes feel pretty. but that is very rare occasion. i would rather lay in bed and do nothing all day. then get up and have to look in the mirror to get ready. what should i do?

-Milly

Hey friend. Thank you for opening up about this.
When are the moments you feel pretty? Write about those. What you’re wearing, where you are, who you’re with. The more detail, the better… Hell, even take a picture to go with it if you want. Looking back on those things can be super helpful, because we can look at that picture and think those things all over again and it gives even the tiniest amount of confidence back.
What should you do? I think you should be proud of the fact you’ve gotten to where you are right now. It’s so amazing. I think that therapy could be really good for you if that’s a possibility, but reaching out to people around you to keep you accountable with your eating habits is probably an extremely helpful thing too. Just having them check in every couple of days to see how you’re doing really makes so much of a difference. We don’t just start loving ourselves over night, it takes work. You’re going to have to start by believing that the people who do love you. There’s a saying that I really like which is “We will love you until you learn to love yourself” < that’s exactly what this community does, and we will for you too. We will love you until you learn how to love yourself and even for a long time after that.
I’m proud of you for sharing, it’s amazing.

Hold Fast
Kayla

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