hi again …
today i was watching the movie ‘cloud’ and there was a sentence that seriously made me thinking .
"he said you don’t have to find out that you are dying to start living’’ came back to myself how much i’ve been dead recently how much i was obsessed with my death and thinking about the way i leave to seem natural to avoid letting my parents down that how much the whole thoughts were wrong …
i didn’t want to die but i wanted to get rid of this pain but the fact is that until when we want to live this way …
my eyes gotten used to the darkness that much that i never dared to came out from that comfort zone how many sunsets and sunrises i have missed … countless i don’t even know but not anymore …
we need each other as much as i need you you need me and who said we are worthless or too sensetive or idk whatever i have been told recently …
i’m tired of hating everything and everyone … although i am still struggling and i don’t lie that sometimes it breaks me to death but i don’t care i’m not gonna let it take my only chance of living from me …
i want to let it break me to death and i’m gonna put my self together every time …
one day this will be convinced that it has to leave …
there will be days that i wont feel alone or depressed or stressed anymore …
better a lot better thanks for asking
how are you?
You wrote “I’m tired of hating everything and everyone.” I think this is such an amazing beginning. It’s easy to let a cloud of negativity take over our minds when everyone and everything lets us down. It can be exhausting. You wrote “one day this will be convinced that it has to leave”…. and this is the beginning of that! This is such a strong step, just recognizing that this darkness is something that doesn’t belong in your life is huge. You are so strong, this post shows that. Use that strength to start making positive changes to your life <3
From: kiratka_
i stopped smoking pot for like 9 months because its illegal here and i have a case, and my depression was never this deep before. there are barely hours when i dont think about death, and making my mind busy to distract my thoughts is so tiring…
look umm i have never been addicted to drugs but i am obsessively addicted to thinking and i can get how hard it can be to drop out the thing that you are used to but i got to tell something you are a real badass that can tolerate this much all of sudden …
really proud of you for that from bottom of my heart and depression can be fixed i truly can touch what you are going through and um you need help for it
the fact is that you got to accept that you need help and it’s ok it can happen to anyone and your resistance through it is great …
i wish you could talk to a therapist you know
i myself didn’t go to therapist it’s so hard for me to open up like what’s going on inside so i went to psychiatrist and i was ok with the part of medication and self control. any way you find it better for yourself and the fact is those suicidal thoughts are harmful and you better to talk about it …
and i hope the way you feel could change very soon …
take care
A.A
thank you so much i felt amazing when i read it …
thank you so much it meant a lot to me